Forest Fires
by MadcapScribbler
Summary: Sequel to "Repeats" Forest is now 14 years old and life is pretty normal in district 12. Until she comes home one day to tell her parent's that she will be doing a project on the hunger games. Katniss and Peeta decide that now is the time to explain their role in the rebellion, but what are the consequences that come with forest's new found information.
1. Chapter 1

"Forest! Will you hurry up! You're going to be late" I holler up the stairs.  
"I'm coming mum, calm down" she sighs as she jogs downstairs, in her new school uniform. After a few years the district was remade, new houses and shops built, including a new school; part of some capitol scheme to make sure every child is educated properly. She stands in front of me, wearing a white blouse, black blazer and pleated skirt. I hand over her school bag.  
"Your lunch is on the table, make sure Bae gets to school on time too, ok?"  
"I will, I will." She sighs, walking into the dining room to get her lunch. "Bye dad!" She calls to him. He walks out of the kitchen to give her a hug.  
"Bye honey." He says. "Have a good first day, yeah"  
"I will." She tells him. "Bae, hurry up!" she shouts.  
"I can't find my shoes!" he screams from his room.  
"They're here" I shout up the stairs. He runs down the stairs, almost tripping as he does, grabs his shoes, shoves them over his toes and rushes out of the door.  
"Forest" I catch her, just before she leaves. "Look after him, please."  
"I will. Don't worry mum" She says, kissing my cheek before she goes, shutting the door behind her. She's very mature for her age, she's 14 now, but you could easily mistake her for 16. She's tall and slim and still has bright blonde ringlets like her father. Unlike Bae, who, although slim like his sister, is short and very young looking for a twelve year old.

I go and join Peeta in the kitchen.  
"I worry about that boy" I joke "Can you remember a day when he didn't lose something?  
"Nope" he chuckles, drying his hands on a tea towel before wrapping his arms around me.  
"I wouldn't worry about him, though. I'd worry about forest more. She's going to be breaking the hearts of every boy at that school" he sighs. "Just like her mother"  
"Whatever. Other than you and gale, no boy looked at me twice, not before the games…" I trail off. The games. We haven't talked about them for a while. Not after Bae was born. We didn't want to have to explain to the kids what we had to go through. I mean, it's not like they don't know about the war, about the games, about the rebellion. They just don't know what role we had to play in it. _They don't know about our past. _

The rest of the day goes as most days do. Peeta goes to work, so I go and make sure Haymitch is still alive. Then I go and have lunch with sae, before I go to 'work' at Cinna's. His dress making business hit off pretty well, I just go by every day and act as a sort of apprentice. Today he's making a dress for someone in another district, so I have to stand there with pins and ribbon and various other accessories while he laces a woman up in a beautiful wedding dress. From what I gather, she's from district two, so she's travelled rather far just for a dress.  
"My friend told me about this place a while ago, and then when my boyfriend proposed, I just had to come here. Who else could make a dress so fitting, then the man that created the girl on fire's stunning outfits?" She beams. I know she means well, but it angers me how much people hang on to the games. I smile at her and say  
"It's Katniss." I nod.  
"Right, sorry. You must get so many people calling you that."  
"Yeah, but you didn't know. It's fine." I say. "So tell me about your wedding. Got any plans?"  
"Not yet. Just the colour scheme." She beams.  
"Green?" I ask, looking at the dress, which its white, but Cinna is fixing various emerald accessories to it as we speak.  
"Pin please." He asks, I hold out the pin cushion. "Thanks."  
"So, what about you gir- Katniss." She corrects herself. "What happened to you after the rebellion?"  
"Oh, you know. I got married to Peeta. We have two kids. I work here. Life goes on I guess"  
"Ahem." Cinna chimes in  
"Oh, yes and Cinna game back to life."  
"Aha. Yes, I see." She laughs.  
"Done" Cinna says, pulling the sheet off the mirror in front of her. she's speechless, as are all of Cinna's customers, he's done it again.

**Katniss' Point of view. **

I hear Forest let herself in, throw her bag on the floor and shut the door.  
"Mum I'm home" she shouts.  
"Hey honey, in the living room." I call. "There are biscuits in the kitchen if you're hungry." she walks to the living room and takes a seat on the sofa, next to me.  
"No thanks, I'm not hungry."  
"Ok. Where's your brother?"  
"He went to Ivy's"  
"Honestly, the Hawthorne's see more of that boy than I do."  
"I know, but he can't help it. _He's in love_"  
"Hey, don't tease your brother."  
"Sorry."  
"So how was your day? What did you do?" I ask her  
"Not much. But history seems cool."  
"Really? What are you doing?"  
"The hunger games." I feel every muscle in my body tense at the words.  
"That's… Um. That's interesting." I lie.  
"Yeah, we're going to do a whole class project about it over a few weeks, focussing on everything. The first games, the quells, why they happened, what happened afterwards. _Everything_."  
"Well. That'll be… interesting." I say again, _interesting _being the only word I can spit out.  
"Hey mum, what were you like when the games still existed."  
"Oh… I can't really remember, they were a while ago…" I trail off. I've never seen her like this. "Oh, honey I just remembered, I need to talk to your dad. Will you be alright on your own for a while, if I go to the bakery?"  
"Yeah, sure mum. Bye" She calls as I get up and go.

I stumble into the bakery, bumping into a woman with blonde hair. I've never seen her before; she must be new in town.  
"Oh, I'm so sorry." I say. "Sorry." I end up rambling, so decide it's best to find Peeta.  
"Peeta? Peeta!" I say, pushing through the doors into the kitchen.  
"Katniss, what's up?" He says, dusting the flour off his hands on his shirt.  
"Forest told me that at school they're going to learn about the games." I feel myself shaking as I tell him. "What do we do" I whisper. He sits on the counter top, and puts his hands over his mouth before pulling them away. He takes my hands in his.  
"We always knew this day would come. I mean. We can't pretend it never happened. Because it did."  
"I know. But I just… It's hard for me to talk about these things. I haven't had such bad nightmares recently. If I bring the memories back the nightmares come with them."  
"I know. But I'll be there. I'll stay with you until the nightmares leave. I'm going to be here for everything. Don't worry."  
"How do we tell her? Do we tell Bae too? I… it's so complicated." Suddenly I'm swimming in so many thoughts; I actually think I might drown.  
"We just answer her questions. Truthfully. Forget any lies we told her before."  
"Ok…" I whisper, placing my forehead against his. "I guess we let the games begin."


	2. Chapter 2

I wake up screaming for the first time in a while. Peeta wakes up as soon as I make a noise, wrapping his arms around me and stroking my hair.  
"Shh. Katniss. It's ok." he soothes, pushing the tears off my cheeks. He cups my head in his hands. "Are you ok? You haven't had a nightmare in ages."  
"Sorry." I sniff. "I haven't had a reason to think about the games in ages" I explain.  
"Well, I could explain the games to forest if you don't want to."  
"No, I want to get it over and done with." I sigh, turning back over in bed. I look at the clock. 6:00am. It's Saturday. The kids will be up soon, so I may as well get up now. I roll out of bed and have a shower, shove on some clothes and pull myself downstairs.

In the kitchen, I'm surprised to see Bae sat at the table, with a glass of water and a pencil in his left hand. When he hears my footsteps, he jumps and turns to see who it is.  
"Mum, what are you doing up?" He says, realising it's me.  
"Couldn't sleep. What about you Mister, you're not a morning person"  
"I heard screams."  
"Oh. Sorry, that was me. I had a nightmare." I take a seat next to him at the table.  
"A nightmare? What about?" he ponders. I hesitate. Should I tell him…  
"I… It was nothing. Bae, are you drawing?" he looks at his feet.  
"Yeah" he mumbles.  
"Well, can I see?"  
"It's not very good" He sighs, handing me the notebook. I take a look at the portrait he's drawn. I girl with dark brown curls and grey blue eyes. Ivy. I flip through the sketch book to find multiple drawings of Ivy, Gale, Me, Peeta, Forest, Cinna, various people I don't recognise. They're all perfect.  
"Bae, these are amazing" I whisper. "You're just like your dad." I tell him  
"Dad can draw?"  
"you… you've never seen him draw?" I whisper. Bae shakes his head. Come to think of it, Peeta doesn't draw much anymore. I guess he would always draw whatever came to him; which was usually the games, so he stayed careful.  
"Well, you should ask him to one day." I say, standing up and opening the cupboard. I take out a box of tablets and snap two out of the packet, before carefully closing the box and placing it back in the cupboard. I swallow them quickly before turning back to face Bae.  
"So. There are a lot of pictures of Ivy in there" I tease. He blushes immediately, and I have to say it's one of the few things I have a soft spot for; Young love. He flicks to another drawing, of forest and…  
"Bae, who's that?" I ask pointing at one of the boys. He's tall, with tanned skin, coppery-bronze hair and… _incredible green eyes._ Bae just shrugs. "One of Forests friends" he sighs.  
"Alright." I sigh back. "Where is forest? Still asleep?"  
"No… I heard her singing in the shower." He says.  
"Ok. so what do you want for breakfast." I ask. He just looks at me, mouth just open.  
"Mum… I"  
"Just kidding. I know I can't cook" I say and I scruff up my hair on my way out of the kitchen.

After breakfast, (that _Peeta _made) I go and out for a walk. I can't get over the boy in the drawing. It looked so much like Finnick. That's a name I haven't heard for a while. Finnick Odair. The heartthrob from district four. The broken boy with the rope, kept sane by his true love Annie.

I get home at about midday. I take a seat on the sofa, next to Peeta when Forest walks into the room.  
"Is it ok if I do my homework in here?" She beams "It's just, I have to work on a presentation about the hunger games." Peeta grabs my hand and squeezes it between his fingers. I give him a knowing look.  
"Forest, we need to talk to you about the hunger games" Peeta starts. Forest looks at us, confused.  
"Yeah, ok. Sure." She says, taking a seat on an armchair next to us.  
"Actually, wait one second." Peeta says, getting up and disappearing out of the room. He returns moments later with a box, lays it down on the coffee table and opens it. He immediately begins searching through different newspaper clippings and documents.  
"Found it" he hands forest a list.  
"What's this?"  
"A list of all of the tributes and victors from district 12" He grimaces.  
"What?" She says, still very confused.  
"Read the tribute names for the 74th games" I tell her. I watch as she scans the page, finds it and realises.  
"But…" She loses her words. "Could you explain please?" She asks, politely but timidly. I've never seen her like this, she was always quite outgoing and bubbly.  
"Sure" Peeta says, putting one hand on her knee. "Ask any questions you want and we'll tell you everything, But there's one condition."  
"What"  
"Don't tell your brother yet." Peeta sighs. She nods quickly and I can see that a million questions have built up inside her head.

She asks us every single question she can think of. _How are we both still alive, did we kill anyone, did we make allies?_ Etcetera… We tell her everything; show her everything in Peeta's box. Some things I haven't even seen.  
"How come your names are in there again, on the 75th games?" she asks.  
"Because that was a quarter quell. They happened every 25 years and the rules were different. Our year the rules were that only previous victors would be reaped."  
"But mum was the only female tribute in 12" She says.  
"And me and uncle Haymitch were the only male tributes still alive." Peeta adds. Forest scans the other names. I watch as she breathes quickly, almost gasping, but trying so desperately not to show it.  
"What?" I whisper.  
"It's nothing, really."  
"No, come on, what is it."  
"Well… it's just… one of the other tributes has the same surname as Caspar."  
"Caspar…?" Peeta repeats. Trust him to go into over protective dad mode now.  
"He's in the year above me, Caspar Odair." My face and my gasp give it away. I knew it.  
"Tanned, tall, green eyes" I check. Forest nods.  
"Do you know him? Finnick Odair that is, not Caspar" She asks, pointing out his name on the sheet.  
"Yeah… I did know him" I stare at my feet for a while, but I can't take the silence, and I don't want to talk anymore, so I run out.

I run to the only safe place I can think of, my room. I lock the door and curl up in the corner of my bed, burying my head deep into the pillow. Finnick, The games, everything, I don't want to deal with it now. Finnick. Just his name makes me sick, I watch his death over and over in my head; the mutts clawing at his skin, yanking his head back as he draws his last breath.  
"Katniss…?" Peeta knocks lightly on the door, stopping the memories.  
"Go away." I say. I can't remember a time when I didn't want to talk to him. I sit against the door.  
"At least let me in" He sighs, I feel him do the same as me, sit on the floor with his back to the door. I get up and unclick the lock. He walks into the room as I throw myself on the bed.  
"I know you hate it. I'll answer the questions from now on, hey?"  
"That's not going to stop the past." I remind him. He sits on the end of the bed and strokes my leg.  
"I know. But there's nothing we can do to change that." I don't say anything, but not out of choice. Something stops me. Suddenly my vision is blurred and my body feels heavy, like it's being sucked towards the ground. Within a few seconds, I can't do anything but hear. Peeta's cries, the blurry blonde boy that carries me away.


	3. Chapter 3

**Ok guys, I would just like to say I love all of you. I didn't know if people would like this story very much, but you guys have proved me wrong. Thanks for reading! Don't forget to review or favourite or follow this story. T'would be much appreciated! xxx**

"Dad. Is mum going to be ok?" Forest asks, climbing onto my lap like a child. It's now 4:00am, and she's not fallen asleep at all, unlike her brother, who is asleep on the two plastic chairs to my left. We're sat in the waiting room of the hospital.  
"She's going to be just fine" I lie through my teeth, because for the first time in a while I'm not too sure and she can tell. But she doesn't say anything. Not for a while anyway.  
"Dad" She starts again.  
"Yeah" I say putting my arm around her shoulder.  
"Was it my fault? Because I mentioned"  
"Oh… Forest no. It wasn't your fault. It's never your fault, ok?" she nods, her face clouded with worry.  
"So… how did you know Finnick then, what was he like?"  
"Finnick. He was… he was special." I tell her. "He was the heartthrob of the capitol. Every girl he met fell in love with him. He was supposedly very charming. He was also one of the victors; that was where we met him, in the quarter quell." I explain. She takes in every word I say. "He was brave, and quite emotional. No-one expected that; I guess we were all expecting him to be vein and full of himself, but he was noble. He saved my life you know."  
"How?" She whispers.  
"Mouth to mouth." I tell her, she giggles.  
"You got kissed by Finnick Odair!"  
"I know, it's an honour" I joke.  
"Then why did mum freak out when I mentioned his name?" she asks. I look at me feet and sigh.  
"Your mum got very close to Finnick when I couldn't be there for her. During the rebellion he helped her with the mockingjay campaign. But." I have to build myself up to say it. "But the rebellion killed him. He was ripped apart by mutations. Your mum always blamed herself. That's why she freaked." I watch the shock cover her face. She doesn't say anything, but buries her face in my shoulder.

A nurse comes to find me and signals for me to talk to her.  
"Will you be ok here, I'll only be a minute" I ask forest. She nods and I get up and walk with the nurse.

"Mr Mellark I have some very important information for you" the nurse tells me as we walk through the corridor and into a small office.  
"Take a seat" she says, gesturing to a chair in front of a desk. "Right, so as you know; a while ago Mrs Mellark was diagnosed with a very severe case of adjustment disorder, leading to an equally severe case of psychosis, a condition she developed during and after her time involved in the hunger games and rebellion."  
"Yeah, but she was getting better"  
"Yes, she was making miraculous progress. But for some reason, the disorder seems to have rapidly taken over her mind. She's shut herself down into a coma."  
"A… a coma?" I stutter. "What do you mean"  
"Mr Mellark, I realise that this news may be distressing for you, but I promise you we are doing everything we can to keep her alive and well."  
"Well, that is your job." I snarl, shocking even myself with my tone. I feel my heart pound against my chest and my breathing speed up.  
"Yes, Mr Mellark, and I ensure you that we are all _doing our job_"  
"Ok." I say. "Sorry, I." I shut myself up. "Keep up the good work" I say. I feel the tears pierce my eyes. I get up and shake the nurse's hand. "Do you think you can save her?" I whisper  
"We'll do our best" She swallows.

I walk back to forest and pick Bae up, knowing that he won't stay up long enough to walk home on his own. No-one says anything on the way home; it's cold and dark, although the sun seems to just be rising.

We get home; I put Bae and Forest to bed, before going up to the attic. I turned it into a studio, but also kept anything from the games here. I take a seat on the stool in front of an easel and just stare at the paintings around me. They're painful to look at, but seem to be the only things that can draw me away from the truth, for the real world. I turn to face the blank canvas in front of me, which isn't blank for long. I find myself swirling every colour imaginable over the crystal white canvas, crying as I do so.

The next morning, neither of the kids ask any questions. In fact, they don't say much at all. That is until forest gets up and grabs her jacket.  
"Where are you going?" I ask.  
"Just out"  
"_Out _where" she shrugs.  
"Just out" she repeats.  
"Fine, who with?"  
"A friend." She sighs.  
"Which friend" I ask, raising my eyebrow. She mumbles something, deliberately avoiding the question.  
"Sorry, I didn't hear you" I say, keeping my voice calm.  
"Caspar" she sighs "I'm going out to see Caspar"  
"As in Caspar Odair?"  
"Yeah."  
"No." I state. She stares at me for a minute.  
"What?"  
"No. You're not going to see him"  
"What? Dad, why?"  
"How old is he?"  
"16" She mumbles again.  
"Exactly."  
"Exactly what?"  
"Exactly, you can't go 'just out' with some boy that's two years older than you." Wow. I just became a protective father…  
"Maybe I just one to go and chat with one person that hasn't been caught up in this mess that we've been through. Because I can't stand to watch you like this. Until this conversation, you haven't said a word since we left the hospital; you just sit around looking like you're off in some imaginary world. I's like you're not even here. So don't tell me who I can or can't talk to and where I can and can't go, until you've decided to come back to reality." She screams before slamming the door behind her.  
"Forest wait…" It's too late.

She's gone. Ok so my 'protective father' attitude disappeared in an instant. But still, I meant what I said. I won't go chasing after her though, that seems a little hypocritical and besides, she's right. I haven't been very 'with it' recently. How can I be? Katniss has sent herself into a coma, forest is growing up, she's learning about the games. The past, present and future all seem to be colliding together and I can't tell them apart. I'm beyond the point of not knowing what to do. I'm at the point of not caring.


	4. Chapter 4

I run out of the house and down the road, through the meadow into the woods and get to where we always do. Caspar is sat down on a tree stump with a piece of rope in his hands. I watch for a while as he knots and unknots the rope, before sitting on the ground in front of him.

"Hey" I whisper, not making eye contact.  
"What's up?" he says, without taking his eyes off the rope. He can tell without looking at me how I'm feeling.  
"Mum's in hospital, dad's not taking it very well. Oh and he's worried about me spending time with you" I say. That gets his attention.  
"What's wrong with your mum?" he puts the rope down, and shifts to one side of the tree stump, patting it, signalling me to come and sit with him. I do as he suggests and sit next to him.  
"I don't know, my dad didn't tell me" I sigh.  
"Why was he worried about you seeing me? We just chat. That's it."  
"I think he thinks there's something going on between us"  
"Oh. Well I can see why, I mean, I am gorgeous" He jokes, putting on a fake seductive voice and striking a pose. I can't help but laugh; he's beautiful and he knows it. He's only lived in 12 for 8 days, he moved the day before school started, came from 4 apparently.  
"Obviously." I joke back "But I mean, I should be able to see whoever I want. I should be able to go out with whoever I want." I say with authority in my voice "…Not that anyone would want to go out with me though"  
"And why would that be?" he asks.  
"Well because I'm not like the other girls at school. I don't have olive skin or dark hair or grey eyes. I'm not small and bony. I'm 'well fed' and have blonde, curly, uncontrollable hair and green eyes." I sigh, holding my head in my hands. I feel Caspar put one arm around my shoulders.  
"Hey… You're right. You're not like the other girls. You're better. I never did like people who blended in. You stick out like a sore thumb and I love it. Your hair _**is **_curly and uncontrollably, but it's beautiful. Your eyes are amazing, they remind me of home. And who wants to hug a bag of bones?" he rants. I look into his eyes and can't stop the small smile that creeps onto my face.

I've known this boy for a week and he's already been there for everything. He's the only friend I have at school, other than Ivy, but she's more Bae's friend than mine.  
"Hey, are you hungry?" I ask from the branch above him.  
"Hmmm. Yeah I guess. You wanna stop off at the bakery?"  
"Are you kidding? My dad will be at work by now, he'd see us. He already hates me for leaving after he told me not to. I don't want to upset him even more"  
"What happened to _'I should be able to see whoever I want'"_ He mimics.  
"Fine." I sigh, jumping off the branch and onto the ground.  
"Come on" he grabs my hand and pulls me with him.

We run out of the meadow and through the streets. I watch as we pass every shop in 12, Cinna's and the bookshop and the school, before we stop just outside the bakery. He squeezes my hand as we head through the doors. No one is in; it's past lunch time though, so rush hour is over. My heart stops when dad walks through the kitchen door into the bakery itself. He stops to look at us for a minute, but carries on with whatever it is he's doing.  
"So you're Caspar?" Dad asks, turning around and dusting the flour of his hands with his apron.  
"Yeah, nice to meet you Mr Mellark." He smiles working his charm on one more person, holding out his hand.  
"You too" Dad says, shaking it. I'm surprised at his tone. He seems to have calmed down. "so… you and forest…" He looks at our hands, I was forgetting that they were still linked together.  
"Dad! It's not like that" I hiss.  
"Well, I should probably get going, look after mum, you know." Caspar adds.  
"Yeah, I urr…well it was nice meeting you Caspar" he nods.  
"You too, sir." He says before turning to me and giving me a hug. "See you tomorrow" he sighs and leaves the bakery.

Later that evening when dad gets back from work, he comes and sits next to me on the sofa. I turn the radio down and just look at him. He still hasn't mentioned our argument earlier.  
"Forest"  
"Hmm" I say, preparing myself for a lecture.  
"I'm sorry" he says, catching me off guard. "I shouldn't have shouted at you earlier and you were right; I've been a bit unfocussed today. It's just that. Well with your mum being in the hospital and…"  
"I know dad. I shouldn't have gone out though"  
"No no. I don't mind. Caspar seems…" he chooses his words carefully "…he seems trustworthy."  
"huh?"  
"You'll see. He just seems like a good kid."  
"No dad, tell me. What do you mean?"  
"You really don't see it?"  
"See what?" I ask. He laughs at me as if I were the most naïve person he's ever met.  
"The way he looks at you. He likes you forest."  
"Oh, yeah _sure he does_" I say sarcastically. "How would you know"  
"Well…"  
"Well what?" I question. "Come on, tell me"  
"It's the same way I used to look at your mum" he sighs. I'm baffled.  
"You what?" I gasp. "No. He doesn't like me like that. Trust me dad. We're just friends, he's like my brother." Dad laughs again.  
"That's what your mum said about uncle Gale."  
"_Uncle Gale?" _ I repeat. "Dad? Why did I never hear about this?"  
"I don't know. But you didn't hear it from me, _Ok?_ Besides, he liked your mum when they were kids and she never saw it. I didn't ever know how she missed it. It seemed so obvious to me, and everyone else. I guess you got that gene."  
"Hey!" I protest.  
"_Hey! _What? It's not me that's missing the obvious."

I couldn't stop thinking about it after he said it. What if dad is right? He couldn't be, right. No. We're just friends. But then he said that stuff about how I stick out from the crowd. Maybe dad's right. No. He couldn't be. Could he? I convince myself both ways for a while, arguing with myself in my head.

When I crawl out of bed the next morning, Bae is staring at me from the hallway. I must have fallen asleep with the door open.  
"Bae, what are you staring at?"  
"You, you're gonna be late!" he says, running down the stairs. Late for what? Oh no, school! I rush into my uniform and grab a bread roll as I run out of the door. "  
"Bye dad" I shout as I pass him on his way to work.

School itself is pretty boring but I keep trying to sneak a glance at Caspar whenever I can. He doesn't make eye contact; in fact, I think he deliberately avoids me at school. On the way home, I catch sight of him.  
"Caspar!" I call from behind. He knows I've seen him this time, he turns around and forces a smile.  
"Oh, hey. Haven't seen you much today" He sighs.  
"Ok, what's up?" I say it straight, there's no point in beating around the bush.  
"What? Why would anything be up?"  
"Well you've been avoiding me all day." I state. "And you don't look happy. Not like you usually do"  
"It's nothing. I promise." I stop him from walking on.  
"Caspar…"  
"Ok fine, it's mum" he sighs. "She saw the picture of dad I found and freaked out."  
"You… You found a picture of your dad?" He nods and pulls out a small photograph of a man, who looks identical to him.  
"It's not the clearest picture… but it's all I've got." We stand in silence for a while, admiring the photo.  
"Hey" I break the silence. "If your mum isn't very…" I trail off. "Why don't you come to mine for a while" I rephrase the question.  
"Ok" He whispers and we head back to my house.

Bae must be home by now, I think to myself; we're kind of late home. When we do eventually get back to mine, I unclick the door to shouting. I run to where the noise is coming from, followed eagerly by Caspar, to find Dad Screaming up a riot. I can't make out what he's saying, but he has Bae by the neck and is pinning him against the wall.  
"Bae?!" I screech trying to find an explanation for what's going on. He tries to say something, but all he can manage is stutters and gasps.  
"Dad?! Dad? Can you hear me?" I try and communicate with him, but it's like he's in a trance. I run and desperately try to free my brothers neck from his grip.  
"What should I do?" I hear Caspar plead.  
"Urrh. Get uncle Haymitch. He's next door. Tell him it's urgent" I panic, clawing at my dad's fingers in some sort of attempt to save Bae; he's finding it harder and harder to breathe, and I can tell from the evident whiteness of his face.  
"Loverboy?" I hear Haymitch, who seems surprised; in a way that comforts me, to know that I'm not the only the only one shocked by these events. But it also concerns me that my dad is shocking even Haymitch. Dad lets go of Bae immediately at the sound of his voice. I look at Bae and tell him to stand with Caspar; out of dad's reach. Dad says nothing but turns back to find that Bae has gone; his next action is to punch me, just missing my eye. I step back wincing, with my hand on my face and my jaw open; half from shock, half from pain.  
"Forest, go to Cinna's. Explain everything. I'll look after your dad" Haymitch tells me. I nod and take Caspar's hand. He's got Bae over one shoulder already; knowing that he still can't quite breathe properly. Just as we leave I hear my dad shriek something that makes me feel sick.

"Good. Leave. You're both mutations just like your mother."


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry guys, i just realised that I haven't been writing who's perspective its in. I will from now on! thanks for reading, don't forget to review! x  
**

FOREST'S POINT OF VIEW.**  
**

Haymitch comes to pick us up the next day. Caspar went home to look after his mum, whilst Bae and I stayed the night at Cinna's. He gave me some ice for my eye and made Bae eat crushed mint leaves to soothe his throat. It looks really purple and swollen; to be honest, I'm surprised dad didn't kill him. He has really strong hands, and they're big too. I used to be able to fit both of my hands on one of his with room to spare. My eye is pretty swollen too. I have a black eye and the swelling makes it hard to see out of it, but it could be worse, so I don't complain.

Haymitch takes us back to our house and, to start, I'm reluctant to go in. But he assures me that my dad is fine now and asleep. We sit in the kitchen for a while, not saying anything. I haven't really talked to "uncle" Haymitch that much ever; but mum always said that if there was an emergency, go to him.  
"So, sweethe-" He stops himself. "Sorry. I errr… you." He sighs "Well I guess you just remind me of your mother"  
"I get that a lot. Look like dad, act like mum" I tell him. He laughs.  
"Spot on." He says.  
"So you were saying…"  
"Right. Yeah. About last night. Don't worry about your dad. He seriously had no control over what he was doing. You could ask him now what he remembers and he honestly wouldn't remember a thing"  
"Ok."  
"Do you know about why he did it?" I nod. Which isn't a complete lie, I know why it happened. Just not the specifics.  
"But I want to find out more. Which is why…" I build myself up "Which is why I'm going to the capitol."  
"What? Forest, on your own?"  
"No. Not entirely. Caspar wants to come too."  
"I'm not sure that it's such a good idea"  
"Me either" Bae adds. I shoot him a look.  
"Well I do. I need to know about whatever happened; I tried asking mum and dad. I found out the bare facts, but what happened? Mum is in hospital and dad's gone mad."  
"I've not gone mad" Dad sighs from behind me. He makes me jump, so I whip my head around to see who it is, even though I know full well who it is. He takes a moment to examine my face; taking a deep breath in when he looks at my eye. He doesn't hug me though, knowing that I'd refuse it anyway. 'I have my mother's temper and ability to hold a grudge' apparently.  
"How's the neck?" He asks, taking a seat next to Bae.  
"It hurts" He says  
"Sorry pal. I didn't mean to, honestly. I'm so sorry. Both of you" He looks at me "I would never intentionally hurt you. Ever."  
"I know" I say, avoiding all sort of eye contact.  
"But anyway." Haymitch continues. "I don't think going to the capitol is a good idea. You're only 14."  
"Caspar is 16." I add.  
"Peeta, back me up with this?"  
"Actually" Dad starts "I trust you both. And I think it's a good idea. Find out for yourself, there's the capitol library and the hunger games memorial museum, I think you should go"  
"Really?" Haymitch and I both say, in very different tones however.  
"Really." He confirms. "And I think Caspar could do with learning about his dad. Annie doesn't need to be reminded"  
"It might be a bit late for that" I mumble. "But yeah. I agree. Caspar needs to find out about his dad, and I need to find out about… everything"

The next morning I get up and get dressed. But not for school. I put on the orange summer dress I picked out last night. It's my favourite dress, orange; but not bright and shocking, soft and pinkish-like a sunset. I slip on some brown brogues and tiptoe downstairs. I rummage through my mother's first aid kit and find the capitol medicine that we've had for ages. I apply some to my eye, which looks a lot less swollen, but is still very painful.

A few minutes later, dad walks into the kitchen too. He doesn't say anything for a while, just sits at the table and watches me wince as I touch my eye.  
"I'm so sorry…" he whispers.  
"Don't be. You didn't know what you were doing."  
"I know, I know. But it's not the first time it's happened. I just…"  
"Dad, don't worry about it." I say bluntly. "Just try to forget. That's what you have to do. That's why I'm going"  
"I'm going to miss you. You're leaving a house full of boys." He attempts a joke.  
"I know. But I'm sure you'll cope. And mum might get better." Dad gives a half-hearted smile.  
"Do you want any help with your bags? I could carry them to the train if you want?"  
"I only have one, dad. I'll manage."  
"Ok." he takes a look at what I'm wearing. "I love that dress."  
"What?" I say, slightly confused at the change of subject.  
"The dress. _That colour_. It's my favourite colour, you know."  
"Really?"  
"Yeah. And it suits you. You look beautiful."  
"Thanks dad" I whisper, giving him a small smile. Then there is a knock at the door.  
"I'll get it." I say rushing for the door.

I catch the time on my way to the door, 6:30am. We need to go soon. I open the door to find a very tired looking Caspar. I mentally sigh, "How can this boy still look attractive this early in the morning." I think to myself.  
"Morning." I sigh.  
"Morning beautiful" He puts on his famous seductive voice.  
"You're even a joker in the morning too."  
"Of course." He laughs. "Are you ready?"  
"Yeah, let me just say good bye to my dad first" I say  
"Ok."

I give my dad a hug, and tell him I'll be back soon. I tell him I love him but I need to find out about everything, and even he can't tell me that, simply because he'd just become too dangerous. I tell him I love him and that I'll be back soon.  
"Goodbye. Stay safe" he whispers. "You look after her" he tells Caspar.  
"Always." He nods. Before taking my hand. "Not that I'll need to. She's perfectly capable of looking after herself" he smiles.  
"I know, just. Keep an eye out for her."  
"I promise." It's like my dad and Caspar have some sort of connection, they give each other a look before we step out of the door, bags in hand. Ready for an adventure.


	6. Chapter 6

FOREST'S POINT OF VIEW.

When we get on the train, an overly friendly conductor directs us to our cabin. It's quite big; with two beds, a chest of drawers and wardrobe in the corner. A telephone sits on top of the chest of drawers next to a booklet full of numbers and a timetable of various stops. I don't pay attention to any of them but the last one, marked 'Capitol centre, final stop.'

I throw my bag down onto the left bed and sit on the end of it. Caspar mimics me with the bed on the right and we sit in silence for a while. I take in my surrounding and find myself staring at the wall.  
"You ok?" Caspar whispers. I don't stop staring, just nod. "Hey… Look at me." he kneels on the floor next to me and takes my hands "We're going to do this. Together." He says, I look into his eyes. They're really piercingly green; I've never seen them this close, I've never needed to. But look at me now, fading from reality, just like mum.  
"Sorry" I sigh. "It's just. Well. This trip means a lot"  
"I know. It's a lot for me too. I can't ask mum about dad. She doesn't like to talk about any of the things that happened to them, just what he was like. I wouldn't have left if I could find out any other way"  
"Who's looking after your mum?" I was forgetting she needs someone to keep an eye out for her.  
"Cinna said he'd do me a favour."  
"She's in good hands then. I left Bae with dad and Haymitch…" I sigh. "…that was probably a bad idea" I joke.  
"Hey, should we go and get some food? I'm kind of hungry."  
"Ok sure" I say standing up, lending him a hand to get off the floor.

When we get to the breakfast cart, I gasp at the sight of the food. I've never seen so much - and my dad's a baker.  
"Come on then" Caspar whispers nudging me to move from the door way. We both grab plates and go straight to the baked stuff. They have everything from bread to cake, pie to tart. I stare at each and every one of them before picking up the biggest cinnamon bun I've ever seen.  
"That's practically as big as your head!" Caspar gasps.  
"Well maybe I'm hungry too" I say, sticking my tongue out at him.  
"Ok Mellark" he laughs. We take a seat next to the window and watch the forests rush past the train at 200 miles per hour.

We laugh and joke and talk all day, until it's getting dark but remain in our seats the entire time.  
"So what do you already know… about your parents?"  
"Not much. They were both in two games. They both killed people to keep each other alive, they were part of the revolution, my mum has nightmares because of her past and is in a coma because of it. That's about it." I sigh. "Oh. And my parents knew your dad" he shoots his head up.  
"Really?"  
"Yeah. Apparently"  
"Wow. I think we should go to the Hunger games memorial museum first. When we get to the capitol, that is. They have records of every single games; we could see your parents' ones."  
"Hmm. I think we should find out more about your dad first" I say, remembering that I saw his dad's name on the sheet of victors.  
"Ok." he sighs. "Thanks" He gives a quick smile. "Hey, we should go to bed, it's getting late." He stands up.  
"Yeah" I get up and we walk back to our room.

The next morning, I wake up to find Caspar gone. He reappears moments later with a mug in his hands. But that's not what catches my attention, no. What catches my attention is his lack of shirt.  
"Caspar?" I say, sleepily rubbing my eyes.  
"Yeah"  
"why are you up so early?"  
"I couldn't sleep"  
"Oh. Are you ok?"  
"Yeah." He sighs. I sit up properly, signalling him to sit on the end of my bed. It's really early, and the sun isn't up yet. He joins me, and we sit cross-legged facing each other.

"So, tell me something about you. Something that nobody knows" he says. We've been talking for hours and the sun is now just making an appearance.  
"Hmmmm" I think. "Oh, I've got one" I say. "But you have to swear not to tell anyone, because only my parents know, Bae doesn't even know"  
"I promise" he smiles.  
"When I was younger, they found out that my heart was really, really weak, and still is. But it's better now. When I was eight, I had to go to district 2 to have an operation. I still have the scar to prove it."  
"Really?"  
"You can see it if you want?" He gives a concerned look but I proceed "Don't worry. Seriously" I lift up my shirt to the bottom of my ribs. "It carries on to just below my collar bones." I explain.  
"Woah." He gasps.  
"But enough about me, your turn; tell me a secret – something no one knows but you" I say.  
"I guess I asked for that." He laughs, "Ummm. Let me think."  
"Come on, it could be anything. Got a secret girlfriend? That wouldn't surprise me." I joke.  
"No" he laughs. "But I guess there is this one girl. I doubt she likes me like that though"  
"Really? I find that hard to believe. Have you not seen how the girls in your year act around you? They practically throw themselves at you." I joke again. He raises his eyebrows.  
"Those plain, same faced clones. They all look the same"  
"Ok…" I say. I have a feeling where this is going. "Caspar…" I whisper.  
"Yeah"  
"That girl… What does she look like?"  
"Oh umm."  
"Caspar. Just tell me."  
"She's beautiful… and has the most perfect hair and eyes and everything." He's deliberately vague. "But she has a scar from the bottom of her ribs to just under her collar bones, she perfectly imperfect." He whispers. I can't look at him. Dad was right; I was being oblivious, completely and utterly blind and unaware of the obvious. I don't say anything. I can't. What is there left to say? Nothing. I open my mouth several times to say something, but I can't bring myself to do it.  
"It's alright, you know." He sighs. "I know that you don't like me. And I'm fine with that. I promise." He tells me. I feel a tear roll down my cheek, but why? I don't like him. That's why. I don't like him like that and I wish I did. But you can't force yourself to feel something.  
"I'm sorry" I sniff. "I just. I can't deal with anything like that now. Maybe if the circumstances were different – maybe if I"  
"Hey, just. Forget I said anything. I've made things awkward now, I'm sorry."  
"Don't be sorry. I should be. I should have guessed, or I shouldn't have asked, or something"  
"Maybe we should get up and eat something or… I don't know" I look up at him and smile. What did I do? I think to myself.


	7. Chapter 7

PEETA'S POINT OF VIEW.

I sit in the kitchen for hours after she leaves. I don't do anything, not even when Bae goes to school or when I'm supposed to be at work. Thom will manage, I think to myself. But that's when it happens; that is when I'm forced to get up and join the real world again. The phone rings. I sigh and get out of my seat, and make my way to the phone.  
"Hello?" I sigh  
"Good afternoon. Is that Mr Mellark?" An overly-chirpy woman beams over the phone. _Afternoon?_ I've really done nothing all morning.  
"Yes it is – who's calling?"  
"My name is Dr Skye Appleby." She explains. "I work at the hospital, specifically the ward your wife is in. I have great news. She's awake!"  
"What- really? Can I come and see her?" I rush all of my words.  
"Yes of course" she laughs in delight "Come whenever you want. I think Mrs. Mellark would enjoy some company"  
"Ok. Is it alright if I come now?"  
"Yes that's fine. I look forward to seeing you, ok. Goodbye"  
"Thank you doctor. Bye"

I rush to the hospital and get there as soon as I can.  
"Hi, Peeta Mellark – here to see Katniss" I pant from the running.  
"Oh Mr Mellark, hi. The room you're looking for is down the corridor and to the right."  
"Thank you" I say, already making my way to the room I've been directed to. I run down the hallway and compose myself when I reach the door; slowly opening it with a firm clasp on the handle.

"Katniss?" I whisper, walking through the door, into the oddly lit room.  
"Peeta!" She quietly beams. Her eyes start sparkling again; I've not seen them like this for a long time.  
"How are you?" I ask, my voice stays quiet and hushed.  
"Not great" she sighs. "I'm ok really though, what about you"  
"Better now" I admit. "I was really worried about you"  
"How worried?" She asks, giving me a knowing look. I look away. "Peeta. You… you didn't? Did you?"  
"I'm sorry" I sigh. "I didn't know that it was happening until Haymitch got me to stop."  
"Did anyone get hu-" she stops when she sees my face. "Who did you…?"  
"Bae… mainly"  
"_Mainly?"_ She gasps. "What does that mean?!"  
"It means. That… forest came home and found me strangling Bae; she got him away from me. But. I. I hit her. In the face." I sigh. There's no way around the truth. By now her eyes have stopped sparkling and are deep and dark.  
"Where are the kids now? Are they ok? Are they at school, do they know that I'm ok?"  
"Calm down…" I take her hand. "Yes, they're both fine. Bae's at school and I'll let him know you're ok"  
"What about Forest? Is she not at school then?"  
"Well… no."  
"Huh?"  
"She's with Caspar… On a train. To the capitol."  
"What? Peeta, are you crazy? You just let her go to the capitol, with, with"  
"Finnick and Annie's son."  
"Peeta!"  
"I know, I know. I didn't think it was a good idea for her to be with him all the time at first; but I trust her. And she had a fair point, she tried to ask us and what happened, I beat her brother up and you ended up in hospital. She'll be back before you know it." I tell her. She looks unconvinced but still agrees with me.

Later, Katniss is discharged from hospital and we make our way back home. We eat lunch and talk before Bae gets home.  
"Mum!" He beams before running up and hugging her. I watch as she notices the red-purple bruises on his neck, but she says nothing.  
"How was school?" she asks, sitting him on her lap like she did when he was a child.  
"Ok." he sighs.  
"And ivy?" She taunts. His cheeks go bright pink at the sound of her name.  
"She's fine" He mumbles. "How about you" he changes the subject.  
"I'm ok" she sighs. "Do any more drawings?" He nods and pulls out a sketchbook from his bag.  
"Bae, I didn't know you draw?"  
"I saw him drawing a few weeks ago. He's amazing" Katniss tells me as she flicks through the sketchbook.  
"Can I see?" I ask Bae, he gives me a quick nod and Katniss hands me the book.

I take a careful look at each image, almost photo identical. The perfect portraits of Forest and Katniss and Ivy. The beautiful landscapes of the old mines and the forests.  
"Bae, how come I've never known that you drew?" He shrugs,  
"Guess it never seemed important." He says.  
"You're amazing."  
"Thanks." He gives me a sideways smile; he hasn't really spoken to me much since I almost killed him. But to be honest – I don't blame him.  
"Hey, I have an idea." I say, as I get up out of my seat. "I'll be right back" I run up the stairs and up to the attic. I grab the first box I find, which is a good weight, so I unclick the lid to see what's inside. Paints and brushes, two pallets, pencils, chalks and charcoals, pastels, ink and markers. I rush back downstairs and hand him the box.  
"Here." I hand him the box. "You might like some of the stuff in here." He looks at everything in the box.  
"What? Really? You're really giving me all of this?"  
"I've got loads of it in the attic" I tell him.  
"Thanks dad!" He beams before running upstairs to his room, taking his new box of art supplies with him.

"So, Forest is on her way to the capitol" Katniss asks later that night.  
"Yeah…"  
"With Finnick's son?"  
"Caspar, yes."  
"And Forest and Caspar is…"  
"I don't even know." I interrupt. "Forest seemed pretty sure that they were just friends but Caspar seemed somewhat disappointed by that."  
"Maybe you were right" she laughs. "Breaking every boy's heart"  
"Well, it takes guts to crush an Odair." I sigh. Just then there is a knock at the door. I get up and answer it.  
"Are you kidding me?" Gale questions. He gives me an angry look before storming in.  
"Umm, what?"  
"You punched your own daughter and then just let her go off to the capitol"  
"Sorry, please do come in – would you like a drink?" I say sardonically.  
"What's going on?" Katniss joins us in the hallway.  
"Well you married a psychopath, that's what's going on" Gale says.  
"What?" I argue.  
"Ivy told me everything. About how he went off on one and tried to kill Bae."  
"Umm, that's not quit what happened-"  
"Shut up Mellark, they're the bare facts and you know it"  
"Gale, have you been drinking?" Katniss asks.  
"No!" He protests.  
"Gale could you leave, I'm not really ready to deal with this right now Katniss says, pushing him out of the door and shutting it behind him. She takes a deep breath in. "It's started again, hasn't it?"


	8. Chapter 8

FOREST'S POINT OF VIEW.

After a few days of patching up a, now, slightly awkward friendship; we arrive at our destination. I step off the train and take a deep breath in. The morning air is cold and bitter. I turn to Caspar.  
"What first?"  
"Library. If that's ok?"  
"Yeah. I think that makes sense" I say.

We walk to the library, which is massive. I've actually never been to a library before, so I can't compare it to any others, but I assume it's bigger than most libraries. There is a sign at the entrance that tells everyone where to go for what. I scroll through the list of various floors until I find 'Basement: Archive'  
"There." I point at it. "That's where we need to go."  
"Ok" he breathes in. I know this isn't going to be easy, it never was but now we're here. Now it's real.

The elevator takes us down three stories until I'm certain we're underground. The basement is dimly lit and empty, apart from an old man with grey hair and a crooked smile, reading a newspaper behind a desk. A small placard sits at the front of his desk with the words 'Archive Manager' engraved into it. Caspar takes a deep breath in before walking up to him. I don't move. Instead I just take in my surroundings. The room has an old, musty smell to it. There are rows upon rows of old fashioned cabinets, with small lettered stickers on them. You can tell that not many people come down here, just from the amounts of dust gathering around the place. Caspar walks off to wherever the old man's directed him. I sigh and look through a cabinet labelled with the letters 'L'.  
"You know there's a whole section of stuff about your parents too" I hear a croaky voice creep towards me.  
"Huh?"  
"Your parents." He repeats "Well it's kind of obvious, you're a Mellark. Or did you take your mother's name, are you an Everdeen?"  
"How? How did you know that I was a Mellark?" I stutter. He laughs at me, but ends up coughing.  
"Just an inkling" he tells me. "So would you like me to show you the stuff about your parents or not?" I hesitate before I do so, but eventually I nod and follow him.

He leads me to the back of the room, to a small cut off section with a television and two cabinets. One marked Mellark and one marked Everdeen. Each drawer also has a label but they are the same on each. "74th Games", "Quell", "Rebellion" and "After" The old man leaves as I open the cabinets and route through the papers and articles. I read articles and stories for hours. I watch some clips from the first games, but not many, because they make me feel sick. Then I remember something: Finnick was in the quell with my mum and dad. I watch as many clips as I can find from the quell, although there aren't too many. One clip does catch me, though. Where my dad gets electrocuted by the force field. His heart stops. Mum's in hysterics. Finnick saves him, just like dad said. I carry on digging through the piles of articles and photo clippings when I stop. I read the headline of one particular article. It looks like an unofficial paper, hand drawn and photocopied; like so many of the rebel news issues. The headline is: 'Rebels rescue the boy with the bread' I carry on reading. 'Peeta Mellark, half of district 12's star-crossed lovers, has been taken from the clasp of president snow and his allies." The article continues to explain how the rescue mission worked and the state him and Johanna Mason were in when they were rescued. But it's the next bit that gets to me.  
'Although few physical injuries were found, Peeta is thought to have severe psychological damage; in the form of the capitols "Hijacking". Upon arrival in 13, Peeta was seen to by several doctors, before being visited by other half of the star-crossed lovers, Katniss Everdeen. Although their reunion was not as expected, as Mr Mellark's memory failed him and he attempted to strangle Miss Everdeen.' It goes on about how the hijacking actually works, which if I'm honest makes me feel sick.

I can't believe the amount of people that died for the cause. The list is too big. Even Prim – mum's own sister. And all of dad's family. And Finnick and Rue and Portia and Madge and Mags and so many more. I sit and cry; legs tucked in close to my body and my back curled up as much as I can stretch. I stay like this for a while before deciding I've found out as much as I want to from here. I can see why mum got so upset.

"Hey…" Caspar soothes as he gives me a hug. "It's ok… Shhh… it's all ok…"  
"I just can't believe… It's just…"  
"I know. I saw it all too." He whispers, still cradling me in his arms.  
"Can we go now?" I sniff, pulling away from the hug, which I find awkward.  
"Sure" he gives me a smile. "How about some lunch?"  
"Ok" I sigh.

We leave the library and walk through the streets of the capitol. The fashion scares me, if I'm honest, but I try not to let it get to me. We find a small, empty café on the corner of a street and decide to go there. We both order bread and soup and sit in silence for a while.  
"So what did you find out… about you dad" I ask gingerly, desperately trying not to upset him.  
"Lots of stuff" he sighs. "About him, about his games, about mum."  
"Oh."  
"About how snow manipulated him" He says under his breath. I don't ask him to elaborate. I saw the same tape as him, about snow and how he sold Finnick.  
"I'm sorry"  
"Don't be… there isn't anything I could do, or that anyone could do really" He says  
"I guess."  
"Hey, don't let it upset you. What's done is done. There's nothing we can do to change it now. And anyway – the rebellion could have been worse, the rebels could have lost; the capitol could have taken over and killed both of my parents and yours." He says, holding my hand over the table. For the first time in a while, I don't move my hand away or tense up. I leave it there because it calms me down. _He _calms me down.  
"I know. I'm just surprised that it took so long for someone to do something about it"  
"I think your parents would agree with you there." He laughs. That's when our soup arrives. We eat and talk for a while before deciding to make a move.  
"So where next?"  
"Actually, could we just go to a hotel, I'm not in the mood for much more of…this. Not for a few hours anyway, could we leave it 'til tomorrow"  
"Yeah, sure" he says.

We walk, hand in hand – just as we used to, to the nearest hotel. We pay for the rooms for the night and head up the stairs. The rooms are side by side, but definitely separate.  
"Are you sure you'll be ok?" He asks me.  
"I'll be absolutely fine" I tell him  
"Ok, if you need me though, I'll be next door."  
"thanks." I give him a quick smile before he turns his back. "Caspar – wait" I stop him. I give him a hug, but before I can stop myself, my lips meet his.

My first kiss.


	9. Chapter 9

KATNISS' POINT OF VIEW.

I wake up the next morning and slowly get out of bed. The sunlight creeps through the crack in the curtains. I sigh at the thought of a new day, but continue on downstairs.

Bae's drawing again in the kitchen, I take a seat at the table too.  
"Good morning" he says, without taking his eyes off his page.  
"Morning" I sigh. "Any plans for the day then?"  
"Not really." He says. "Oh, there is one thing." He looks up at me "I might go and see Ivy" he beams.  
"Right. Bae here's the thing." I look at my hands on the table. "I don't want to stop you from being friends with Ivy… but I'd like you to stay away from her for a while. And her dad" I think about everything that happened last night.  
"What?!" he protests "Why? That's not fair, you can't do that"  
"It's only for a while." I sigh. "Only until I've sorted out everything with gale – I mean, Mr Hawthorne."  
"No! Mum, that's not fair" He complains again.  
"I'm sorry Bae, but that's it. That's my final decision." I snap. He throws the sketch book at me and storms off to his room. I feel the anger make my blood boil under my skin. It throbs in my fingertips. Not Bae though. I'm not angry at him, he's done nothing – and to be fair; he has a reason to be upset. But it's gale's fault.

So many questions bubble up in my head; why did gale get so upset? Why was he drunk? Why does everything happen at once? I wish it didn't. Everything happens when I can't handle it. I feel myself shaking as I pick up the sketchbook. Tears well in my eyes when I see it. A perfect picture of Peeta and me; with the words 'welcome home mum' scribbled in the corner. I sit with my head on the table.

"Are you alright?" I hear Peeta ask, moments later.  
"I just had to tell Bae that he couldn't go and see Ivy today." I sigh.  
"Ouch" He says, squeezing my shoulders. "Don't feel bad, it had to be done. There's no way I'm letting him near that psychopath."  
"Peeta!" I exclaim "Gale isn't a psychopath. He was clearly drunk." I correct him.  
"I know, but still – that doesn't excuse him from acting the way he did."  
"I know, I know." I sigh. "But Gale wouldn't just drink for no reason, I think something's up. I'm going to go over there later and make sure he's ok"  
"Are you sure that that's a good idea?"  
"Yes. Don't try and change my mind."  
"Trust me, I have no plan too." He laughs.

By lunchtime, Bae still hasn't come out of his room. He has the ability to hold a grudge, I'll give him that.  
"Should I go and get him for lunch?" Peeta says.  
"No, I'll do it. I owe him an apology anyway."

I walk upstairs and knock on his door.  
"Bae?" I call through the closed door. "Do you want some lunch?" no answer. "Please come out Bae. Look, I'm sorry. Maybe you could call Ivy after lunch and see if she wants to come round?" still no answer. I decide to just open it, as I'm getting nothing from just trying to talk.

I open the door to find Bae's room empty.  
"Bae?" This time I didn't expect an answer. "Peeta! Bae's gone." I shriek.

He joins me in the room later.  
"Look, he's gone."  
"Through the window, look" he point to the wide open window, stating the obvious.  
"What are the chances Ivy's with him, wherever he's gone."  
"Very high" Peeta sighs. "Come on." He grabs my hand and takes me with him.

Gale's house. I watch as Peeta hammers on the door until gale answers.  
"Oh, don't" he says, holding his head in pain.  
"Gale, are you hung-over?" I ask; associating his pain at the noise with the outrageous state he was in last night.  
"How did you guess" he says, sardonically.  
"Alright. Enough of the small talk" Peeta interjects. "Where is she?"  
"Who?"  
"Ivy, your daughter"  
"In the kitchen… I think, why?"  
"Gale, you might want to check that" I tell him. He disappears for a while before returning to the door.  
"She's gone" he says in some state of confusion  
"Bae's gone too" Peeta says.  
"Well you know where they've gone, right?" He asks, now in some sort of panic.  
"No. We were hoping you knew something." I tell him. He shakes his head.  
"Well why are we just standing here?" Peeta asks. "Come on, we've got to find them"

After a while of looking, I begin to give up. I'm tired and worried and starting to lose hope in ever seeing either of my kids again. It's raining, late and getting dark. We walk through miles of forest and meadow and dry soil until something hits my memory.  
"The mines!" I blurt out. Both boys look at me like I've lost it. "Bae drew a lot of the mines; I bet they're somewhere near there."  
"It's worth a shot" Gale says.

We get to the mines and by now it's raining really heavily, storm weather. Sure enough they're both here. A crack of thunder makes me jump.  
"Ivy, Bae!" Gale screams. "Get here right now!" He's angry, only because he was worried. His voice must startle him, because it makes Bae take a step back. What happens next makes me scream. The step back that Bae takes is back towards the mouth of one of the old elevators. They were shut down and boarded up years ago – but evidently the wood has rotted; because that one step. _One step_. That was all it took for him to fall. Through the wood and down several feet.  
"Bae!" I screech as he falls. Peeta runs to stop him, but he's too far away. I watch as he disappears from all sight. Gale holds me back from running, knowing what I'd see is not going to be pretty. I claw at his skin as I cry and shout. Gale stays rigid, holding me up.

All it took was that one step. _One step._


	10. Chapter 10

**Guys; calm down. Bae isn't dead... Or is he? No. He's not. I'm not that mean - honestly... Anyway thanks for all the lovely reviews and followers and favourites, please keep them coming. Thanks for reading xx**

FOREST'S POINT OF VIEW.

Salty. That's what it's like. His lips are salty. But not in a bad way, refreshingly so, but none the less – salty. He pulls away from me for a minute.  
"You changed your mind quickly" He smiles.  
"People change" I return his grin. "…and anyway, how can I resist an Odair." That makes him laugh.  
"I guess. So, you still want to go to sleep?"  
"Not really" I laugh.

The next morning is nice. And I genuinely mean it. For the first time in a while; I wake up with a smile on my face. Caspar comes and gets me from my room before we make our way downstairs to get some breakfast.

The hotel has a small café, situated just next to the bottom of the stairs. We walk in but before we can even take a seat, a man walks over to us. He's young, I'd say early 20's, and has messy brown hair which just covers his eyebrows.  
"Are you Miss Mellark?" he asks.  
"Yes, why"  
"We've had a phone call, requesting to speak to you – from a…" he takes a minutes to look at the name he's written on the palm of his hand. "…A Mr Peeta Mellark. He says it's urgent."  
"Dad…" I mumble under my breath. "Did he say what it was about?"  
"No. He just told me to let you know immediately and to call him back ASAP."  
"Oh, ok." I say I turn to Caspar, "Go and sit down – this'll only take a minute." I tell him.

I follow the man, whose name turns out to be Marley, into a small office.  
"Right, the number is here" He says as he hands me a small piece of paper "And the phone is there…" He points to a phone on the desk in the corner. I walk over to it and grab the phone, watching Marley as he sits down and fiddles with a pen. He does this thing where he spins it round his fingers as it's balanced on his thumb. I jab the number on the keypad and pick the phone up.

_Ring ring… Ring ring… Ring ring…_

"_Hello?"  
_"Dad it's me."  
_"Oh Forest, thank god." _I hear dad sigh.  
"Dad, how did you find out where I was?"  
_"I found a list of hotels in the capitol centre… Any way that's not the point. Forest, you might want to sit down."_ His voice deepens, and I start to panic. Something's wrong with mum, I think to myself.  
"Go on…"  
_"It's Bae… There's been an accident." _I drop the phone. A small pain spreads across my chest getting bigger and bigger until I think my heart's going to fall out. _"Forest?…Forest are you still there?" _I can just hear dad say through the phone, which is laid on it's side on the floor. I grab it and place the phone to my ear again.  
"Yes dad… I'm still here."  
_"Ok. I was really ringing to tell you that you should probably try and get back home now." _He explains.  
"Is he…" I choose my words carefully. "How is he?" I whisper. There's a short pause before he says anything.  
_"He's pretty bad. But he's at the hospital; and they're doing everythi-"_  
"How bad." I interrupt.  
_"He broke his neck and back, severing his spinal cord." _He says, knowing there's no way round it. I can't bring myself to say anything. _"Don't worry, He's a strong boy. He'll be ok" _His voice shakes as he speaks, as if he's about to cry. _"Listen, honey – I have to go. Look after your mum, you know. Just promise you'll get on the next train to 12? I love you. Be brave, ok?" _The phone rings dead. I place the phone back down on the desk.  
"I have to go; thanks for letting me use the phone." I tell Marley.  
"No problem" he gives me a sympathetic smile, suggesting he knew what that was about.

I find Caspar sat at a table.  
"Get your stuff, we have to go" I say.  
"…ok…"  
"Quickly please." I beg. I need to get home. I wish we'd never come here, if I'm honest.  
"Yeah, sure. Is something up?" he follows me up the stairs.  
"I'll explain on the train"  
"Train?"  
"We've got to get back to twelve." I say, rushing into my room.

It only took 15 minutes to get our stuff together and check out of the hotel. Before we know it we're waiting on a rather lonely platform for a train.  
"So do you want to tell me what's up? Is it your mum?" He asks. I don't give any answer. I just stare at the ground. I ignore the other questions he asks until he's kneeling on the ground in front of me, holding my hands.  
"Please tell me what's wrong. Forest. Please. You're scaring me." his hands shake around mine.  
"Bae..." I breathe.  
"Bae? What's wrong with him?" I look him in the eyes before saying anything.  
"He's severed his spinal cord." I say. "Broke his neck, and his back. And I wasn't even there to help him. No. I had to come here and find out about the stupid hunger games." I laugh deliriously "It seems that snow was a pretty smart guy after all. He's still screwing up our lives long after he died."  
"Hey. Stop it. Calm down. Bae's going to be alright." He cups my head in his hands and wipes the tears away from my face. "It's not your fault you weren't there. You had no way of knowing it was going to happen, no one did." He brushes the hair out of my face and kisses my forehead.  
"I promise you everything will be ok."


	11. Chapter 11

**Don't forget to favourite/follow/review! Love you guys! Thanks for reading :3**

KATNISS' POINT OF VIEW.

I watch him. That's all I do. He's been here for four days and I don't want to take my eyes off him. I've never seen someone look so broken. Not in the games. Not ever. I just want to cradle him in my arms like a baby; but I'm not allowed to touch him. Peeta stays with me most days, just to keep an eye on me. Gale comes to visit sometimes too. Often with Ivy, who has to leave because seeing Bae like this upsets her too much. It upsets me too, but I don't want to take my eyes off him for a second.

Peeta comes and sits next to me, he holds my hand.  
"Katniss, honey…?" he whispers. "I think you need a break."  
"No. I'm not leaving" I say, still refusing to take my eyes off him.  
"Katniss… You have to sleep, eat, move. Anything. You can't just sit here doing nothing"  
"What can I do though Peeta." I turn to face him for the first time in ages. "My son is dying and I can't do anything!"  
"Don't say that!" He shouts. I've not seen him this angry for a while. "You don't know that"  
"Oh Peeta come on! Let's face it, look at him. There is nothing we can do."  
"The doctors are doing everything they can, we can't just give up!"  
"What are they doing, Peeta, what? Look at him…" I stop shouting and breathe, turning to look at the broken boy behind me, "I don't think that there's much anyone can do" I whisper.  
"Mum…?" Peeta and I were too busy shouting at each other to notice that Forest had come back, and was now standing at the door.  
"Mum, do you really mean that?"  
"Forest, I…" She looks at me for a moment before running off. It's only then that I notice the tall, green eyed boy standing next to her.  
"Forest, wait…" He says. Then he turns to me. "Should I go and get her?"  
"No, I will." I tell him, before running after her.

PEETA'S POINT OF VIEW.

Caspar and I stand awkwardly in the doorway of Bae's hospital room. Katniss is right. We can't do anything, he's helpless.  
"…I'm sorry about… Forest told me… About the accident." He stutters.  
"Oh. Yeah, I kind of guessed she did. Don't be. Sorry about it, I mean. Some things can't be prevented and no one can change what's already happened." I sigh. It's silent as we both look at Bae. A nurse walks by and notices us, standing at the door.  
"Caspar! Haven't seen you in a while. Are you alright, how's your mum?" She beams.  
"Oh, Anais, hi. I'm fine thanks. Mum's dealing with everything fine actually."  
"That's good. Now, how are those tablets I gave you? Are they working ok?"  
"Yeah they are, I've stopped blacking out now, the headaches are still there some times though"  
"Ok, well I don't know what I can give you yet, maybe if you come by sometime next week? I can prescribe you something then" She smiles "I have to go now, we're quite busy today. It was good seeing you."  
"You too" he smiles as she walks off.

I raise my eyebrows.  
"What was that about?" I ask.  
"Mum's in and out of hospital all the time. Because she's… mentally unstable." He chooses his words very carefully.  
"I haven't seen Annie for ages. How's she doing?"  
"She's alright." He sighs.  
"Ok, but what was she on about… the, the tablets? What were they for?" He looks at his feet.  
"I…err. I have epilepsy. It's not too bad… I mean, it was worse when I was younger. Now it's just occasional blackouts. I haven't had a seizure for months. Please don't tell anyone. Nobody but mum and Anais knows."  
"Not even Forest?"  
"Especially not Forest"  
"Hmm. Why not?"  
"She's the only one that doesn't look at me like I'm a freak. The only one that doesn't treat me differently, like I'm not the same as everyone else. Epilepsy, it singles you out…"  
"You know, I don't think she'll ever see you as the same as everyone else. And if anything; I think having epilepsy, _dealing_ with epilepsy, will probably bring you two closer together." He hesitates before saying anything.  
"Don't tell her I told you… But she told me about her heart…" He whispers.  
"Wow" I laugh. "You are special." I tell him. "She's never told anyone outside the family."  
"Yeah, she said." He laughs.  
"So… You and forest…" I start. He blushes instantly. I guess I already know the answer. He looked at her the same way as he did before, only this time, he did it with confidence. He didn't have to hide it anymore. I laugh at him, which is probably doesn't help.  
"Sorry. I guess I should probably be saying something like: stay away from my daughter. But I'm not going to." He looks confused "I trust you" I confirm. He gives me a sort of… understanding look. "But if you upset my daughter I will hurt you." I joke.

That's when Katniss and Forest join us back in the room. Forest walks straight past me and sits by her brother.  
"How did it go?" I whisper, squeezing Katniss' hand.  
"Not well" She replies. I watch as Caspar sits with her, holding her as she cries; calming her down and soothing her as if it comes naturally. And that's when I realise. For him, it does. All the years that he's spent calming down his mother who is always going to be the sad and broken Annie who was left widowed, having practically just gotten married. Finnick is gone. Not by choice, but he's gone; and it saddens me to think how she can cope. Which is why I'm glad she has Caspar. He's been there to support her, which can't have been easy, but life never is. Not for us anyway. Not for the families of victors.

An hour later, I manage to convince Katniss to sleep. Caspar leaves to make sure his mum's ok, and me and forest are left in the room with Bae.  
"How did it happen?" she asks, rubbing her eyes; either because she's tired or upset, I guess it's a bit of both.  
"He got startled, gale made him jump. He fell down a mine." I sigh.  
"He looks so broken. So fragile" she whispers.  
"He is." She reaches out to stroke his hand. "Careful" I tell her, but I don't tell her off. She's just trying to be supportive.  
"Did it hurt?"  
"I think so. He's still in quite a bit of pain apparently. But the doctors are trying their best to…"  
"…Keep him alive" She finishes my sentence.  
"To keep him alive…" I confirm.


	12. Chapter 12

PEETA'S POINT OF VIEW. 

I slept all night. For the first time in ages, I fell asleep and didn't wake up until it was light. When I get up, Katniss is still asleep, so I don't wake up. We're still in the hospital; they gave us rooms to stay in for as long as we need, since Bae's still here. It's been almost a week and he's still not woken up.

I walk along the corridor, pacing, just because I don't have anything else to do. But that's when I notice it. Sat in Bae's room – holding his hand – is Forest. She's been having trouble sleeping recently, I knew that much. But I didn't know where she went or what she did instead. She's speaking to him. I walk closer to hear what she's saying – without her realising I'm there.

"…I'm sorry. I know we fight and argue and fall out all the time but I don't mean it. You're my brother and I love you. Please don't go. Don't die. If not for me; for mum, for dad… for Ivy. She misses you, you know. She comes to see you every day, asks how you are. She loves you Bae. And Dad. He doesn't show it as much as mum, but it hurts him to see you like this. You can tell. See it in his eyes. He sees you and pretends to stay strong; but on the inside, he's more broken then you. Just promise me. Nothing feels real any more. It's strange, different, untrue without you around. Please, just open your eyes. Promise me that you'll open your eyes soon. Tell me that you'll be ok. Get up, out of here, come home soon. Please." She whispers the last words through her tears. "Please" she repeats. It's then that I lose it. Tears break though my eyes and down my cheeks. She's right. I can't stand to see him like this. He's my son. And there is nothing I can do to fix him.

I leave quickly so Forest doesn't see me cry. I don't really cry in front of my family and now is not the time to start. I find a coffee machine and get myself a drink. The receptionist is sat at her desk, looking rather tired as I take a seat. Suddenly, a very concerned Haymitch stumbles into the hospital. I close my eyes and sigh. No one told Haymitch…  
"Peeta! Oh my god Peeta, are you ok?" he frets. "Gale told me what happened. Where is he, is he alright?"  
"Haymitch, I'm fine; calm down." Is all I can say.  
"No, I can't calm down – why am I only just finding out about this?"  
"Because when something like this happens, your first thought isn't to call everyone and tell them about it."  
"Then why does gale know?"  
"Because he was there when it happened. I'm sorry that we didn't tell you, but please don't get angry and me or Katniss or any of us. Now isn't really a good time to deal with anger."  
"I'm… you're right I'm sorry." His tone drops. "How is he?"  
"The doctors say he's in a critical state, whatever that means. He's still not woken up."  
"How's Katniss doing?"  
"How do you think?" I say sardonically. He gives me an apologetic look.

As we walk back along the Corridor, I see that forest is in floods of tears.  
"I should probably go and sort her out." I sigh. "Katniss will be up by now though, down there and take a left." I direct him.

I go and take a seat next to her. I sit her on my lap and hold her until she stops crying a bit.  
"I miss him dad."  
"I know, I know. But he's not gone yet."  
"He not here though" She has a point.  
"Hey, there's always hope." Is all I can tell her.  
"I don't think I have much hope left."  
"Well you should." Caspar calls from the door. "I gave up hoping once. It was the worst thing I've ever done. I gave up on my mum. And when you give up on family, you give up on yourself. You have no idea how much it hurts you. I know what it feels like. You can see them, feel them, touch them, hold them, but no matter how much physical proof you have; it's like they're gone, vanished from existence, and you feel so helpless. But no matter how scared you are, how much fear you have, one thing keeps you going; hope. Hope is the one thing you have left, and when you give up on it, there's no way you can keep going. So please Forest. Don't ever give up hope. Because then you will start to fade. Mum's already started fading. You're all I've got left. I can't lose you too." He says; his face more serious than I've ever seen it; making him look stronger, older, much more independent. So much like Finnick. Forest just gives him a look.  
"I think I should probably go." I say as I get up to leave the room.

FOREST'S POINT OF VIEW.

I don't move as dad leaves. Neither of us says anything for a while.  
"You need sleep." He tells me.  
"No I don't. I'm fine"  
"Then stand up and walk over here." He says. I get up and take two shaky steps towards him, before stopping because it's hopeless. I'm exhausted. I haven't eaten in days and I can't stop myself from shaking. "You need sleep" he repeats.  
"What if I don't want sleep." I say, sitting back down, sighing with exhaustion.  
"I'm afraid that's not an option" he tells me, as he walks over towards me and picks me up.  
"What are you doing?" I sigh.  
"Well you're not making it home by walking. You couldn't make it two steps." He tells me.  
"Home?" I raise my eyebrows. By now I'm enveloped in his arms.  
"Yes. I'm taking you home. You're going to sleep and then you're going to eat something."  
"I'm not hungry"  
"To bad" He sighs, carrying me out of the room.

It takes us slightly longer than usual to get home, probably because Caspar is carrying me. When we do get home however, Caspar doesn't let me go until we're upstairs.  
"Get some sleep." He says, sitting me down on my bed.  
"I don't want to "  
"Well you have to so… Night" he smiles before turning the lights off and closing the door.

I must have been more tired than I was stubborn; because the next thing I know is that I'm waking up. I get out of bed, still feeling weak from the lack of food, but no longer tired. I pull myself downstairs. Caspar's sat on the table in the kitchen, reading a newspaper.  
"Morning beautiful" he beams.  
"_Morning?" _ I repeat.  
"Yepp. You slept right through the day and the night. To you it's tomorrow."  
"Oh. Right." I say.  
"Hungry?" he jumps off the table so he's standing in the floor. I look at my feet.  
"Yeah I guess."  
"good." He laughs, walking to the counter, and grabbing a cake tin. He opens it and places one of the most beautiful cakes I've ever seen on the table. It's white with red lilies that decorate it. "Happy day-before-your-birthday." He beams. "I thought you could do with a bit of a break. Considering with everything happening with your brother – you've sort of faded out. Besides, you're 15 tomorrow; I think that calls for a bit of a celebration." He grins.  
"Caspar, how, why… Just wow" I say, giving him a hug.  
"You really like it?"  
"I love it…" I beam "I. I love you."  
"You have no idea how long I've wished you'd say that" he whispers. I give him a quick smile.  
"So, you want a slice?" I ask, changing the subject quickly, before things get to awkward.  
"Do you really have to ask?" He jokes, he opens his mouth to say something when the phone rings. "Hang on I'll get that, help yourself to cake"

I grab a slice of the cake, which is delicious, and listen to half of the conversation that Caspar has with whoever it is on the other side of the phone.

"Oh, Mr Mellark hi… yes… yeah she's just woken up…really! ...that's great… Ok… Yeah, I'll be sure to pass on the message… alright… We'll be there soon… alright… thanks, see you soon…" He hangs up and turns to me.

"That was your dad. Bae's awake."


	13. Chapter 13

KATNISS' POINT OF VIEW.

I rush past the Peeta, Haymitch and even the doctors when I'm told that he's awake. I run so fast that I forget I'm moving. There he was, sat up and awake. He was really actually truly awake.  
"Bae" My voice shakes as I run to sit by him. I hold his hand to make sure he's real. "My god… I was so worried… I thought. I thought"  
"Mum. Shhh." He whispers.  
"Sorry…"  
"It's ok"  
"How are you, are you ok?"  
"Everything hurts." He moans. "Mum, what happened."  
"Oh, baby… You were in an accident… you hurt your neck and your back." I tell him, trying not to cry.  
"Why don't I remember?"  
"Probably because it put you in a coma."  
"A coma!" he frets.  
"No no no. Honey calm down. Don't worry about that now, ok. It's too stressful. Just relax"  
"Ok… Mum, it hurts so much." he whimpers. I feel the tears build up over my eyes. Peeta walks in too.  
"Is everything ok?" He asks me, not making any eye contact with Bae.  
"Go and get a nurse, tell them he's in pain" I instruct him. He nods and disappears.  
"It's ok… We'll get someone to stop it. Ok? To stop it from hurting." I tell him, even though I'm not sure exactly how much anyone can help.

Two nurses come in, followed by Peeta, moments later. One of them goes directly to Bae and starts asking him multiple questions – whereas the other turns to me.  
"Mrs Mellark, could I have a word with you and your husband?"  
"Oh, umm. Yeah sure" I stammer. I get up and follow her out of the room. She closes the door and we stand in the hallway.  
"I'm sorry to be the one to tell you both, but I'm afraid I have some bad news"  
"Bad news?" I ask her. He's woken up, how can that mean anything bad?  
"Right. So as you know, Bae has broken his neck and back, severing his spinal cord. The good news is that both his neck and back will heal and eventually he will get better, although that may take weeks, even months. He's been fortunate enough not to die, but judging by the severity of his spinal injuries…" She trails off. The tension could cut through the air with ease. "The chances of him walking again are extremely low. In fact the chances of him standing again are under 2%" She sighs. "I'm sorry to have to tell you this now, just as things are getting better, but trust me. You've been very fortunate. Thanks to you getting him here when you did, he'll be able to live the rest of his life, normally"  
"Yes, only he won't be able to walk by himself" Peeta says spitefully.  
"Please, Mr Mellark, I assure you that Bae will be happy."  
"But he won't-"  
"Peeta, please" I interrupt. "Everything will be ok." I tell him, before turning to the nurse. "Thank you" I say, she walks away with a sympathetic smile.

I look at Peeta for a while.  
"What?" He asks.  
"I can't believe you"  
"What did I do."  
"Are you kidding? What's happened to you, where is the Peeta I know."  
"Katniss I don't know what you're talking about"  
"The spite in your voice, Peeta. You know full well what I mean now drop the act, what's up with you?"  
"Fine. I'm upset Katniss. I'm upset. You can't blame me for that. I've just been told that my son is never going to walk again, how do you think I'm going to react. What do you expect?"  
"I expect you to be like you always are. Optimistic and hopeful. You don't give up, that's not what you do."  
"It's hard to be optimistic right at this moment, to be honest!" He shouts. I stop for a minute as the silence makes its way into the air.  
"Sometimes…" I start. "Sometimes bad things happen to good people." I sigh "You, of all people, should know that. So if you want to be anything but hopeful – you can leave."  
"Katniss? I… _Leave? _No. I'm sorry. It's just. I. I can't…" He stammers his way through a jungle of words before sighing and saying the words: "It's difficult." I hug him.  
"I know. I know it is, trust me. But you have to say strong" I run my hands through his messy blonde hair.  
"Sorry."

Later, after he's been given some painkillers and had some sleep, Bae wakes up again.  
"Mum?" He blinks his eyes awake and tries to sit himself upright.  
"Oh, careful. Don't try and move." I tell him. He stays still.  
"Where's forest? I've seen you and dad and even uncle Haymitch, but not Forest. Is she back from the capitol yet?"  
"Yes, she's back. Your dad just called her, she's on her way."  
"Ok. Why isn't she here?"  
"She was really tired. And she hadn't eaten anything for a while, Caspar took her home"  
"Oh. Ok. is she ok?"  
"She's fine." I say. The room goes quiet for a while.  
"Mum" He starts again. "Dad and uncle Haymitch have been there for ages. What are they talking about?" he asks. I turn to look at them through the large glass windows that stand on each side of the door. I close my eyes and take a breath.  
"Please… no…" I whisper under my breath. Bae obviously hears me – although not enough to know what I said.  
"What?"  
"Never mind, I'll go and see how they're doing. Just try and rest for a while, ok." I get up and leave the room, closing the door as quietly as possible.

It's obvious to me what Haymitch is doing; holding Peeta's fists and talking to him calmly. He's stopping him from having an episode. Stopping the hijacking. I don't say anything, scared that I'll interfere with something.  
"Mum!" I hear forest call from behind me. I turn and go to her.

"Shhh." I hiss. "You need to quiet. For… for everyone's sake." I tell her.  
"Sorry." She whispers. "How's Bae? Is he ok? Can I see him?"  
"Bae's fine, He was just asking about you actually. I'm guessing you want to see him."  
"Yes!"  
"Ok, but. Well first I should probably tell you something, let's go somewhere a bit more private" I say.

We walk to the empty waiting room. The only people here other than me and forest are the receptionist and Caspar.  
"You might want to sit down…" I say. She takes a seat on one of the plastic benches next to Caspar. Their hands automatically link.  
"What is it?"  
"We've just been told, that… Bae is probably never going to be able to walk again." She looks at her feet.  
"Does he know?" she whispers, you can hear how hard she's trying not to cry.  
"No. Please don't tell him. I'm going to have to tell him later."  
"Ok… I want to go and talk to him though" she gets up.  
"Do you want me to come with you?" Caspar asks her.  
"No. I need to talk to him alone." She says. He nods and stays where he is.

From the few times that I've actually seen him, I've noticed something about Caspar. Some very familiar things. The looks and jokey attitude from Finnick, easily recognisable. But there's something about the way he looks at her. The eyes with which he looks a forest. Just like how Peeta used to look at me. I never used to see it. But in photographs, when I had a chance to look back on him. The look of longing and not wanting – but needing. Needing someone like you need air. His face changes when she's not there as well. A look of not only desperation, but of madness. Not angry or crazy madness. But damaged madness. The face of someone who has lived too quickly.

The face of a victor's son.


	14. Chapter 14

**Right, So sorry this isn't the longest chapter guys; but there are longer ones to come:) Don't forget to review/favourite/follow. Thanks for reading xx**

PEETA'S POINT OF VIEW.

It's been a just over a month since the accident. The worst day. It's gone. Bae's still in hospital, but the rest of us are at home a lot; his choice not ours. He wanted us to get back to normal life, while we could. I say the rest of us are at home. But Forest spends more time at Caspar's or out… with Caspar.

"She gets worse as she grows up, I swear" Katniss tells me as he dries a plate with a tea towel.  
"Oh yeah, because you were the perfect 15 year old." I say, sarcastically  
"And who says I wasn't"  
"Everyone." I laugh "Katniss, you went out and broke the law practically every day"  
"No I didn't" She protests.  
"Oh so you didn't sneak off to illegally hunt with your best friend?"  
"Ok. Other than that?"  
"You basically cheated the capitol by almost killing yourself in the hunger games. Then you blew up and arena. And then you went on to lead the rebels in a war against the government…" I list.  
"Ok. So I wasn't the perfect child… But I did everything with the best intentions." She says.  
"Yes, you did." I agree. "But you see, she's almost 16; she's going to go off on her own and be difficult, but that's normal" I sigh.  
"Unfortunately" She jokes. "Where is she anyway."  
"Oh I don't know… with Caspar, wherever she is." I sigh.  
"Hmmm"  
"What?"  
"Caspar. Can we trust him?"  
"I think so… why?"  
"Well, he is 18."  
"Yes and Forest is almost 16, your point is…?" I'm a bit confused.  
"I don't know. I just worry about her sometimes."  
"I know. But she's a smart girl; she won't do anything stupid, I promise." I say, wrapping my arms around her and kissing her hair.  
"Right, I told Bae I would go and have lunch with him, so I better go. Bye honey." He gives me a quick kiss before rushing off out of the door.

Almost immediately after she leaves, Forest runs into the house, slamming the door behind her and running upstairs. I wait for a while before following her upstairs. She's locked herself in the bathroom and all I can hear is crying. I think carefully about whether I should say something or just back away down the stairs, as if nothing's happened. No. I'm her dad. I think to myself. I should see what's going on.  
"Forest?" silence. "Are you ok?" still silence. I wait for a while. "Forest, what's going on?"  
"Nothing dad" she calls from behind the door. I can hear her sniff as she talks. "I tripped and hurt my ankle when I was in the meadow with Caspar. I'm just checking that it's ok…"  
"Oh. Are you alright?"  
"It's fine dad, yeah"  
"Ok. If you're sure…"

That was lie 2. The first lie happened about 2 weeks ago. Forest came back home later than usual, at about 9pm, maybe even later. When I asked her where she'd been, she said she's been at the hospital, speaking to Bae, and got held up. I just let it go, even though I knew that she wasn't telling the truth. But now I know something's going on. I don't know what, but something is definitely not right.

A while later, someone comes to the door, I know it's not Katniss – as she won't be back for a while; so I go and answer it.  
"Caspar?"  
"Hi Mr Mellark, is Forest in?"  
"Yeah she's upstairs, resting her ankle."  
"Her ankle?"  
"Yeah, she said she hurt it earlier, when you two were in the meadow…"  
"What? I haven't seen her for a few days, is she ok?"  
"I. I don't know. But she won't talk to me, so you better go and give it a shot." I sigh, opening the door more to let him have.

I go and sit in the living room but then decide I can't take not knowing what's going on. I have a headache anyway – so I can get some painkillers from the bathroom.

I walk up the stairs and make my way to the bathroom, slowing down as I pass Forest's room.  
"What? Are you sure…?" I hear Caspar ask.  
"Yeah…" she whispers. "I'm certain." She starts to cry again. I try not to make any noise, try and make myself unnoticeable on all accounts.  
"Hey, Shhh… it's ok."  
"It's not ok though is it? I'm pregnant, Caspar."


	15. Chapter 15

FOREST'S POINT OF VIEW.

I sit in my room for about an hour before anything happens. I use this time to build up my thoughts. I run through my options.  
1) I can tell Caspar and go through with it.  
2) I can tell Caspar and have an abortion  
3) I can run away  
4) I can have an abortion now and not tell Caspar. That way no one would have to find out.  
There are flaws in all of my options. But that's when it happens.

"Forest?" Caspar knocks on my bedroom door. I don't know what to say. I can't bring myself to talk to him.  
"Forest please just let me in. Are you ok? I'm worried about you" he sighs. I hear him fall against the door. I walk over and unlock the door.  
"We need to talk" is all I say. I don't look at him; I stare at the floor and stumble back to my bed, wrapping the duvets over me, for some form of comfort.  
"Ok. So let's talk." He says. "What's wrong, you haven't spoken to me for days, are you ill?"  
"I wish it was that simple." I whisper.  
"I don't care how complicated it is – I have all day, all night if you need it. Just tell me what's wrong."  
"It's not the length of the problem." I sigh. "It's the problem itself."  
"Then tell me. You know you can tell me anything." the desperation in his voice makes me want to cry.  
"I…" I cut myself off. I can't do it. "I'm pregnant." I barely breathe.  
"What? Are you sure…?" Caspar asks me.  
"Yeah…" I whispers. "I'm certain." That's when I burst into tears. I can't control it.  
"Hey, Shhh… it's ok." He pulls me out of the mountain of duvets that surround me and wraps me in his own arms, kissing my head.  
"It's not ok though is it? I'm pregnant, Caspar." I weep. "I'm not even 16 and I'm pregnant. Tell me, how is it ok"  
"It just is. I promise. Everything will be ok. I'm going to make sure of it." For a split second, I believe him. Because he can do that to people. He can reassure people in an instant.  
"I love you, Caspar Odair." I smile through the tears, before kissing him. The same refreshing salty taste is there, just as it was the first time we kissed.

PEETA'S POINT OF VIEW. 

Pregnant. _Pregnant. __Pregnant.__PREGNANT._I listen to the word repeat itself over and over and over again in my head. It wasn't illegal. Not in 12 anyway. 15 was the youngest you could be to have a child. 16 is the youngest you can get married, with parent's consent. 17 to drink.

Technically she's done nothing wrong. No, not technically. Legally she's done nothing wrong. Technically I am her father, which means she has done something wrong. I just can't believe she could be so stupid. I can't believe I trusted her. Or either of them for that matter. I find myself breathing in and counting to ten just to keep calm. I can't get angry. Not now. What do I do? I have three choices, I can go in there now and talk to her, I can talk to her later or I can wait until she talks to me. Later. I'll talk to her later.

Katniss. What will Katniss think? I can't just not tell her; but if I do tell her, how will she react? Why does everything happen all at once? I'll tell Katniss after I've talked to forest. Which means I have to speak to forest soon, before Katniss gets back.

"Caspar" before I can stop myself I'm knocking on her door. "I err…" that's when I run out of words. "I need to talk to forest. It's umm. About Bae… family business, you know." I hear the door unclick, and he walks out.  
"I understand, is everything ok?"  
"Yes… it's fine. I just, yeah I need a word."  
"Ok. See you later forest." He gives a sympathetic smile before walking out of the room and down the stairs.

"What's wrong with Bae? Is he ok? Is everything alright."  
"Bae's fine." I say. Slowly shutting the door behind me. "It's you I'm worried about."  
"What? I'm fine" she lies. That's the third one. I don't say anything, instead I just raise my eyebrows. "…don't." she starts. "…don't make me say it" the pain stops her words from forming properly.  
"I won't. But it's definite?" I ask. She nods, her eyes pressed closed.  
"What do I do dad?"  
"I can't make that decision for you." I say, taking a seat on the end of her bed.  
"I wish you could" The silence eats the air around us for a while, until forest speaks up again. "Dad, are you disappointed in me?" she whispers. I turn to face her and take her hands, which look so tiny in mine. Like a child's. Because she is. She is a child.  
"I don't think it's the smartest thing you've done" I sigh. "But what's done is done. And you can't change the past. So here's what we are going to do. We are going to get on with life, with or without that baby, whether you keep it or not. Because life goes on. Ok? Look at me" I say, noticing that she's stared at the floor for the entirety of our conversation. "Life is just one big game; so what's the point of playing if it's easy. You have to make decisions sometimes, decisions you don't like, decisions that you chose only because the alternative is so much worse. It's ridiculously hard, it hurts – physically and mentally, it makes you feel as if your heat is being pulled apart very slowly. But it gets better. Something makes it get better. _Someone makes it better." _I tell her. "And that person, that one person that makes those feelings go away, that is the person you want to be there. Forever and always. Because that is the one person who will set you free."  
"Then I need to make sure I never let him go" she whispers.  
"I know."

We stay in her room for a few hours, just talking.  
"Was it always mum?" she asks.  
"huh?"  
"Was it always mum, was she always the one that made it better. The one worth carrying on for?"  
"Always." I sigh. "I can't remember a time that it wasn't, because I don't think a time like that existed."  
"Were you hers?"  
"Not to start with. I had to convince her." I give a half-hearted laugh.  
"Oh." The room goes quiet as we hear the front door open. I get up to go and see how Katniss is, but forest stops me.  
"Dad."  
"What?"  
"Please don't tell mum. I want to do it. Tomorrow. Or later. But just. Don't say anything, please?"  
"Ok. But you have to tell her."  
"I will. Tomorrow." She sighs. "I'm too tired to do it now."  
"Alright. You should probably get some sleep then."  
"Night dad"


	16. Chapter 16

**Please review, favourite and follow! It's what keeps me writing! :D**

CASPAR'S POINT OF VIEW.

I stare at the ceiling all night. The clock makes the only sound in the room.  
Tick tock, tick tock.  
Over and over, the repeated ticking and tocking which is enough to drive anyone insane. There's no use in trying to sleep any more. She's pregnant… and it's my fault. She's legally old enough. Just anyway. But I don't know. If I was in her dad's position I probably wouldn't be happy. I watch the sun fall and rise as I pace my room. I try everything, but just end up calming myself down like I usually do. Knotting rope like mum taught me. Mum. What's she going to think? She'll probably just tell me that dad would be disappointed.

Dad. Someone that most children grow up with. Someone that I couldn't grow up with. Someone who died to protect me. Fought to protect me. Killed to protect me. _Was killed to protect me._ Everyone tells me about him. How noble he was. How amazing he was. How kind, how inspirational, how much I am like him. Maybe being a dad won't be so bad. I can give to someone what I couldn't ever have. A father. I could be a father. I'm going to be a father. I will be a father.

By 8am, I'm still pacing. Mum's still asleep, but most people will be on their way to work. I decide to go and see how forest is doing, it was pretty obvious that her dad didn't need to talk to her about Bae last night; the way he looked at me, he knew. I tiptoe out of the house, making sure not to wake mum, and carefully shutting the door. I walk, quickly and quietly to her house.

Mr Mellark is leaving for work just as I get there.  
"Morning" He nods.  
"Morning" I mumble back. "How's forest?"  
"You ask me" he sighs. I swallow my words, waiting for a lecture. "Sorry. I shouldn't be like that. She's alright" He explains. He knows I know.  
"Where is she?" I ask.  
"In her room I guess. I haven't seen her, so I guess she's just not up yet."  
"Alright. Well… I'll err. I just see how she is…" I sigh  
"Ok. Bye." He turns his back and walks away. He doesn't seem angry. Disappointed maybe, but not angry.

When I open the door, I'm welcomed by unnerving silence. The kind of silence that is not controlled, but is bitter and desolate. I can hear my own heartbeat, every breath or movement I make is noticeable.  
"Forest?" I ask under my breath, as if the silence is pulling my voice down and eating my words.  
"Forest?" I repeat again, louder this time. Very loud. Too loud. Too loud for no one to have heard it, even in their sleep. I run up the stairs, and knock on her bedroom door. Nothing. I open it to find the room empty. Bed made, curtains draw back. The sun cascading across the floor in glimmering golden pools of light. But that's when I notice it. The small, torn piece of paper left on the pillow. The four words that would stop anyone's heart.

I love you. Goodbye.

My heart goes from deadbeat to rapid.  
"Forest!" I start to scream. I know exactly what those for words mean, and it's not good. I scream her name as I run through the house, checking every room carefully as I do so. When it's definite that she's gone, I run to the only person I can ask for help. Her dad.

"Mr Mellark" I push the doors of the bakery wide open, not caring if they hit anyone. Someone must tell him that I'm looking for him, because he walks out of the kitchen and into the main bakery just seconds later.  
"Caspar? What is it?"  
"It's forest." Is all I can stomach.  
"What about her?" He asks slowly, trying not to make a scene.  
"She's not at home. I… I found this." I show him the paper. His eyes widen at the words. "I don't know where she is." I panic.  
"Alright. Calm down, I'll help you look." He says. "Thom, can you take over here if I go?"  
"yeah sure" he nods. Mr Mellark looks then turns to a woman I've never seen before.  
"Excuse me, ma'am, would you please go to the hospital and ask them to find Katniss Mellark. Tell her to come home now, it's urgent." His speech is rapid and worried. The woman looks at him, and notices the panic in his eyes.  
"Err… ok yeah." She says, and with that we run to the house again.

We search the house again and again shouting her name. There are no replies but he stops.  
"Caspar, was that open when you checked before?" He asks me. I stare at a small trap door that I've never seen before.  
"No. It wasn't, I would have noticed it."  
"I know where she is. Go and wait outside."  
"But, I"  
"Outside. Now!" he instructs. I decide it's best not to argue, as we are dealing with a case of life and death.

I wait outside staring at the front door, when I realise why he told me to wait here. Forest is on the roof. I want to shout. But I don't. I don't know what to do. I just watch. She takes a step towards the edge of the roof and looks me straight in the eyes. Another trap door opens. And Mr Mellark's head pokes out.  
"Forest." He says, she turns to face him "Stop."  
"No." she turns back to face the edge. I watch as he tries to get up onto the roof as well. "If you take one more step dad… I swear." I can just make out the small tear that falls down her cheek.  
"Ok, ok. I won't move just listen to me."  
"Why should I dad? Tell me how you're going to talk your way out of this…"  
"I can't talk you out of dying. But I can always talk you into living."  
"No you can't she says. Taking one step closer."  
"If you won't listen to him… maybe you could listen to me?" I shout, before I can stop myself. She doesn't say anything, but looks at me, ready to listen. "Forest. Please. Don't do it. Don't jump." Is all I can say.  
"Why? What's the point anymore?"  
"Don't say that. Don't try and tell me that there is nothing important in your life anymore. Because there is. Look at your dad. Look how worried he is. What about your mum? Your brother, what will he think? What about me? Without you, there really isn't any point for me anymore. You're all I have left. So please. Don't do this."  
"You're just saying that because of the baby." She shouts, I can't tell if in anger or despair.  
"No I'm not. I think it's a stupid idea. Baby or no baby. It's a stupid idea."  
"What baby?" I hear Mrs Mellark ask. I don't respond, I don't take my sight off of her.  
"Whatever you decide to do. Have the baby or not, I'll still love you. Your family will still love you. If you die now, you aren't just killing yourself. You're killing all of us. I will always love you. That baby, if you keep it, will always love you. And if you decide not to, it doesn't matter. I promise, I'm with you 100%. Just please, step away from the edge. Even if it's just one step back. I'll talk to you until you're inside, safe." I shout to her.  
"You don't understand. None of you do…" she cries.  
"You're right. I don't understand. I don't understand how you could do that to yourself. Because I did that to you. If you jump, I will always feel responsible. I will personally hold myself responsible for the death of the most beautiful girl that I've met. The only girl I've ever loved. That baby is mine too. It's not your fault. It's _ours. _So we will face every problem that is caused by it, together."

I stare at her. The silence is back. The desolate silence that eats at my soul as I stand there. But that's when it happens. That one step back that I prayed for.

One step back towards safety.


	17. Chapter 17

Caspar's point of view. 

The relief only kicked in later that night. Later that night when I had her in my arms, safe and unharmed. Real. That's what it was. It was real. I just held her. All night. She slept in my arms and I didn't let go. I couldn't let go, I physically couldn't. And I'm glad I didn't; because when the morning comes it gives the room an orange tint and forest wakes up, everything feels ok. Like there is nothing that could happen to make this moment bad.

"I'm sorry" she whispers.  
"Don't be…" I whisper back, trying desperately not to ruin the moment with noise.  
"You looked so scared."  
"I was."  
"I'm sorry" she repeats.  
"Shhh. It's ok. You didn't do it, so I'm ok" I tell her.  
"Did you really mean that? About the baby?"  
"All of it."  
"Then I know what I'm going to do."  
"Yeah?"  
"Yeah. I want to keep it."  
"…really?" I whisper. I small smile creeps onto my face. That's the answer I was hoping for. I didn't know until now. Up until know I didn't think that I cared. But I do. More than ever.  
"Really" she confirms. "…is that ok?"  
"That's amazing"

We do that for a few weeks. She sleeps in my arms every night, all night. I calm her down when she's upset. I haven't moved in, but I might as well have; I spend a lot of time here. At the moment, we're sat on the sofa in PJs.  
"…I don't know. I guess I always wanted to be like dad. But I never knew him, so I couldn't be." I answer her question. "What about you? What did you want to do with your life?"  
"I never really thought about it, I guess I wanted to bake? That's what dad does, that's how I've been brought up. I always wanted kids – maybe not this young – and I always wanted to get married" she tells me.  
"Really?"  
"Really what?"  
"Did you really always want to get married?"  
"Yeah…"  
"Well. we could."  
"We could what?"  
"Get married…"  
"Wait. Caspar, are you asking me to marry you?"  
"I, uh, yes. I think…" There's a short silence.  
"Caspar. I. sorry. I can't."  
"Huh?"  
"I can't marry you. I… sorry"  
"No. you shouldn't be. I know what you mean. You've got a lot on your hands."  
"So… what do you think it is?" she changes the conversation.  
"Huh?"  
"Girl or boy?"  
"Oh. I don't know. How many weeks are you know?"  
"Five"  
"ok. You know if there's anything I can do, I'm happy to, right?"  
"I know." She says. The room goes quiet.

Later that evening, I sit in the living room, poking at a fire while forest is upstairs having a bath. There's a phone call, Mr Mellark answers it.  
"Hello…oh, really! ...yes ok… yeah…no…yes, I can be there straight away… ok…thank you." He hangs up the phone.  
"Forest, I'm going up to the hospital, I might not be back for a while." He shouts up to her. he then pokes his head round the door.  
"Caspar?" He asks.  
"Huh?"  
"Just. Make sure she's ok, yeah. Make sure she eats enough and sleeps, please."  
"Always." I nod. And with that he leaves.

When forest comes back downstairs and joins me in the living room, she immediately sits on my lap. I wrap my arms around her waist, making sure that she's not too close to the fire.  
"Well this is nice" I say, a little surprised by the sudden expression of affection.  
"Good." She says wrapping her arms around my back. We stay like this for a while, in pure bliss, just sitting in front of a fire, holding each other. Safe.  
"Your dad's gone to the hospital" I whisper.  
"I know" she whispers back. "Did he say why"  
"no. he told me to make sure you ate."  
"I'm not hungry."  
"Too bad." I pull away from the hug to look her in the eyes. Green, like mine. But not the same. Not sea green. _Forest green._ "You have to eat something." I tell her.  
"Fine." She sighs.

The next thing I know, we are sat on the floor with a bowl of rice and rabbit, and a pack of cards, playing a card game. It's evident I'm losing, but I don't care. It's moments like this that I live for. The ones where everyone can relax.

We carry on playing through the night, eating, playing, talking. It's perfect.  
"Someone's tired" I laugh as she yawns.  
"I'm fine."  
"I didn't say you weren't, I said you were tired."  
"Fine" she lies in my arms. "…tell me a story."  
"A story?" I repeat  
"Yeah. That's what you're supposed to do when people are tired, right?"  
"Ok." I sigh as I try and think of a story. I tell her a story my mother told me as a child. I story she said was my dad's favourite; about a boy who refused to grow up. He lived with his friends and a fairy in a magical land where no-one grows up, and one day he met a girl and her brothers. I tell her all about the adventures they had and the people they meet; pirates and mermaids and cowboys. I find myself still telling the story until she's asleep, lying limp and lazy in my arms. Although that moment doesn't last long, as she wakes up as soon as the door opens. It's who comes through the door that surprises her most, however, as none other than Bae – pushed in in a wheel chair by his father – smiling and out of the hospital for the first time for ages.  
"Bae!" She beams and jumps to her feet.  
"Forest" he smiles back as she leans over to give him a hug, kneeling to stay at eyelevel.  
"Oh my god, you're home" she states.  
"Yeah." He laughs. "You look tired, are you ok?" he asks.  
"Yeah I'm fine"  
"But it looks like you've had no sleep since I left." He says. The room develops a slightly depressing quietness. No one told him about the suicide attempt, but the silence soon ended, as everyone was too excited that he was home.

That night, when Forest really did go to bed, I stayed in her room, but I didn't need to hold her to get her to sleep this time though, she fell asleep almost immediately. I sit on the floor and stare at my feet. But that's when it happens. The sound that expresses more pain than I can imagine. I leap to my feet, to find forest lent forward in pain.  
"Forest? Forest, what is it?" I run to her, grabbing her hand. She doesn't say anything, her words are replaces with moans of pain.  
"I, errr, um…" I try to think of what to do, and find myself running out of the room and getting her dad.  
"Forest, honey what is it?" He panics, his voice sounding as concerned as mine, but more tired. She still doesn't answer, so I do the only thing I can think of.

I pick her up in my arms and run.


	18. Chapter 18

Caspar's point of view.

Neither of us says anything for days. We don't mention anything, not a word on the subject for three days. It takes three days to find the strength to say anything.  
"Forest" I finally say. She looks at me, lying in her bed. That was the first and only place she wanted to go when we got home, and she hasn't moved since. The look is hopeless and shallow eyed.  
"It's ok" I tell her. "I promise you, it's ok."  
"No." is all she says.  
"Really. It is."  
"Really, it's not" she sighs, tears readying themselves to spill down her cheeks. "It's not ok and won't be for a long time."  
"Please don't say that" I can feel tears build in my own eyes too. "It will get better – I promise."  
"Why don't I believe you. The baby is gone. Gone. Dead. And it's my fault." She says  
"It's not your fault."  
"Then whose fault is it?"  
"No-ones. There was nothing that anyone did to cause it and nothing we could have done to prevent it."  
"It was helpless. A completely helpless being that trusted me to protect it. And I couldn't even do that." She shouts. "You have no idea what it's like." She whispers through gritted teeth.  
"No I don't, you're right. But you know what? I know what it's like to lose someone. I know how it feels to have someone trust you and to let them down. It burns through you bloodstream and it sets fire to your lungs. I feel it in my fingers and in my toes. I feel it every time I look at mum. And right now. I feel it right now, looking at you. Because I feel like I've let you down." I say. The same familiar silence builds up and eats the atmosphere.  
"You can't feel like it's your fault." She whispers.  
"Nor can you, neither of us are to blame." I walk over and sit on the bed with her, taking her hands on mine. She looks me in the eyes, staring straight through me.  
"This isn't working." She whispers.  
"What?" I breathe back.  
"It isn't working, Caspar. _We_ aren't working." A small tear rolls down her cheek. "I'm sorry. I. someone had to say it. Say it out loud, say it first. No matter how much it hurts. It'll hurt so much more if we carry on like this. The baby… it made me realise. You care too much; which isn't a bad thing. I just think you need someone who can return the care. Someone to care for you like I never could. Caspar you are beautiful. Inside and out. Beautiful people like you don't just happen. They are special. They are the people who have known struggle, suffering, loss and defeat. People who get over these things; take life into their own hands and shape their own futures. Independence makes you wonderful. So you need to go, and find someone who can be independent with you."  
"Forest…"  
"No. Don't try and fight it. Fighting never gets anyone anywhere. Just know that I won't forget you, Caspar Odair. I love you, which is why I need to say goodbye"  
"I love you too." I find myself saying. I don't want to say the next words but I do. I take a deep breath in, before saying the last words.

"Goodbye Forest."


	19. Chapter 19

Forest's point of view. 

I don't see him much after that. I mean, I saw him at school – the doctors said it was fine to go back as soon as I felt I could. I didn't like staying at home, the only reason I had been was because I refused to go to school with the baby. My first day back wasn't necessarily a walk in the park, but I did what my dad told me to; I soldiered on. When I first got in and took a seat, the class went quiet and all eyes were on me. Various murmurs and whispers were exchanged, along with sideways glances and odd looks. Lunch was ok. I sat by myself, but I didn't care, because I didn't want to talk to anyone. Ivy talked to me a bit, mainly to ask how Bae was. I didn't say a word to Caspar, which was easy enough in lessons, as he's in the year above, but the way home was horrific. I walked from school to my house alone in silence, unlike how I've ever done. I couldn't bear to go home and see mum though. She's been so nice to me, making sure I'm ok. But I'm not, and even though she wants to, she can't change that. I walk past the house and go to the bakery, taking a seat by the window. I don't go and find dad, but eventually he finds me.

"How was the first day back?" he asks, his tone matches my mood. Solemn.  
"It was ok." I say, not making eye contact. He takes a seat opposite me.  
"You want to talk about it?"  
"Not really"  
"Ok. Do you want something to eat?" he asks. I shake my head, still refusing to make any form of eye contact whatsoever.  
"Drink?" he asks.  
"Can I have a glass of water" I sigh.  
"Sure" he sighs back as he gets up to get me a drink. He returns moments later with the glass of water and what looks like a strawberry cupcake. I look at him.  
"I thought you could use the sugar." He says, before turning his back and returning to the kitchen.

I sip the water and for ages I just stare at the cake in front of me. It's small, encased in a red wrapper, with white buttercream and a strawberry on top. After a while temptations get the better of me and I find myself unravelling it and taking a big bite. It's delicious, but the cakes here always are. It's gone in seconds, and I feel a bit better having eaten it. I eventually decide I should probably leave the bakery, but I still don't want to go home, so instead I take a detour to the meadow. I take my jacket off and lay it on the grass. I lie, staring at the stars for a while, counting them, naming them, wishing I could hold them; pick one up and put it in my pocket. But that's when I realise it's dark… and has been for a while. I should probably go home now.

When I get home, a get a small telling off from mum, who contradicts her lecture by hugging me and telling me she knows how I feel. She tells me to eat something, but I stomach much; managing to eat only a bit of fried squirrel.

Instead of going straight to bed, like I usually do, I end up walking to Bae's room. I knock on the door and wait for him to answer.  
"It's open" he yells from inside, so I twist the handle and go inside. "Oh. Hey." He says, surprised at my appearance, seeing as I haven't talked to him much recently. "how was school" he says, gingerly, knowing I was dreading going back.  
"I hated it." I tell him.  
"Oh." He looks at me, with his amazing eyes. I've always been jealous of his eyes, the same shape as dads, but the same colour as mums.  
"Yeah." I say, collapsing on his bed. He wheels himself towards me and positions himself so he's comfortable.  
"I'm sure it wasn't that bad" he tells me.  
"It was." I say.  
"At least you get to go" he sighs. He's been begging mum to let him go to school for the last few days, but she keeps saying no; that it's too dangerous. I don't see what the big deal is to be honest.  
"You're not missing out on much." I tell him. "Ivy asked how you were"  
"Really?" his head shoots up at the sound of her name. I don't know if he knows how indiscreet he is.  
"Yes, really"  
"What did you say?"  
"I told her you were fine"  
"Ok." the room goes quiet for a moment.  
"…So what's with you two?"  
"Huh?"  
"Is she your girlfriend" I tease. He blushes a deep shade of pink almost immediately.  
"No." he protests.  
"You just want her to be?" his cheeks continue to redden.  
"…maybe…" he whispers, looking at the ground.  
"Well she is very pretty" I stop teasing him and my tone turns serious.  
"I know." He sighs. "…but she doesn't like me"  
"What?"  
"She doesn't like me, not like that" he repeats.  
"And what makes you so sure of that?"  
"Because she's so pretty and I'm stuck in a wheelchair." He blurts out.  
"Woah. No, that's not fair. Don't think like that, Bae!"  
"What? It's true."  
"No it's not." I say, taken back by his statement. "Look we all have something, an Achilles heel, a weakness or vulnerability. But they make us who we are." I say. "Mine is the miscarriage. It's not left me right in here" I tap my head. "I'm a bit mentally unstable. Or at least that's what the doctor said. Dad has his leg. Mum has her nightmares. And you, you have a wheelchair. But that doesn't stop you from being just like everyone else. Take it in your stride. It just proves that you're a fighter." I tell him.  
"You really think so?" he says.  
"definitely." I nod. "And anyway, it's obvious she likes you"  
"Really?!" He beams.  
"Yes. Really." I sigh at his naivety. Then a thought occurs to me. "Hey, what if I convince mum to let you come to school with me tomorrow. I don't have…" I trail off, knowing that if I say his name I'll depress myself "…any distractions anymore, I can tell her that I'll look out for you"  
"Would you honestly do that?"  
"Yeah. I could use someone to talk to anyway. Silence allows me too much time to think." I explain.  
"Please" he nods.

Later that night, about an hour after my conversation with him, I go downstairs. Mum and dad are sat in the kitchen talking, they're not surprised that I'm not asleep, but surprised that I'm not locked in my room, crying.  
"Hey, sweetheart, is everything ok?" dad asks.  
"Yeah, I just. I was wondering. Could Bae come to school with me tomorrow?" I brace myself for a lecture.  
"Oh, honey, I'm not sure that's such a good idea…" mum starts.  
"No, hang on Kat." Dad interrupts. "Bae has been begging to go back, and forest would look after him, wouldn't you" he looks at me.  
"Definitely." I nod.  
"And I'm sure Bae would appreciate getting out of the house for a while" He adds.  
"Yeah, and he'd be able to see his friends again" I back dad up as much as I can.  
"Hmmm. Ok… I guess you're right. But you have to promise to look after him" mum says to me.  
"I will, I promise." I say, giving her a hug. "thank you."  
"No problem." She says  
"You should probably go and get some sleep now, though honey." Dad hints, giving me a quick hug.  
"Ok. Night dad, night mum"


	20. Chapter 20

**Thanks for reading! Don't forget to review/favourite/follow :D**

Forest's point of view.

The next morning seems ever so slightly more optimistic. I get up, get dressed and, for the first time in a while, I eat breakfast. Bae is already in the kitchen, ready for school by the time I get down the stairs. He's excited. Dad is in the kitchen too, making some coffee. I walk past him and head for the cupboards, catching Bae's eye. He mouths the words "Thank you" to me from the table. I route through the cupboard, but don't fancy anything from it.  
"There's bread on the table" dad tells me.  
"What a surprise" I say sarcastically.  
"Good to see someone's back to their usually cheeky self"  
"Shut up, I'm not cheeky!" I protest.  
"Oh, good one." He laughs. I roll be eyes, before sitting down and taking a slice of the bread.

On the way to school I talk to Bae. About what, it's hard to say, we pretty much talk about everything. Good things that is, as we spend most of the walk there laughing. I offer to push Bae there but he insists that he can manage himself, which is right. I mean, I'm amazed at how much upper body strength he has. For a boy who is not yet 13, his arms are extraordinarily strong. We get to school and this time, less people stare at me – or him – and there is no whispering and murmuring, finally I've faded into the background again.

The rest of the day unfolds easily. And at lunch I sit with Bae and Ivy, outside on a bench under a tree. It's away from the field or any of the other more favoured places to eat which is why we pick it; to be alone. I'm under strict orders from Bae not to mention anything from the conversation that we had last night.  
"So how's your family, Ivy. I haven't seen Mr Ha- Your dad for a while."  
"Oh, I think he feels bad for startling Bae, and making him fall." She says.  
"Oh... How about your mum, how's she?" Ivy looks very guiltily at her feet.  
"She's fine" she says. I know that she doesn't mean that, but as an expert in things being 'fine' I decide it's best not to ask. Come to think of it, I haven't seen Mrs Hawthorne in a while. Maybe she's ill. I look at Bae, who has been looking away from us, in another direction, with look of repulsion on his face. Soon Ivy is looking in the same direction, and then back at me. Her face doesn't look disgusted, but worried.  
"Guys, what is it" I say, turning my head in the same direction.  
"Forest, wait – no!" Bae tries to stop me, but it's too late. I see what they were looking at. There he is. Caspar Odair with Lily Grimshaw. Caspar Odair _kissing _Lily Grimshaw. Something inside of me wants to go and pull her off of him. But I know I can't do that, it's not fair. I shouldn't be jealous, I told him to find someone else. But in my head he will always be mine. But then, just as if things weren't bad enough already; he opens his eyes. He opens his eyes and looks directly at mine. _Into mine._ A million thoughts swim through my head. I can feel myself about to cry, but refuse to give in. That's when, seeing my jealousy, he pushes her back against a tree and kisses her more passionately then I've even seen someone kiss. He's doing it deliberately. Head games.  
"Forest, maybe we should go somewhere else…" Bae says, tugging on my sleeve  
"No. It's fine." I say, knowing that if I leave – Caspar will know he's got to me.  
"Are you sure?" Ivy asks, knowing that he's probably right.  
"yeah." I nod. "I'm fine."

When the rather awkward lunch is over, I have a free period, so I make my way to the library, because no-one ever goes there. I don't feel like doing any work. So I pick up a book and try to read it. I don't do so very successfully, however, as I am soon joined by unwanted and certainly unneeded company.  
"Hey" he whispers. I don't need to put the book down and look at him to know who it is. Caspar.  
"I'm reading" I tell him.  
"Well stop." He says. I sigh and put the book down.  
"What do you want?"  
"I found this at mine, and I thought you might want it back." He say, handing me the butterfly bracelet my dad got me for my 14th birthday.  
"Thanks." I say, pulling it onto my wrist. "Anything else, or are you going to let me read my book?" I ask.  
"How are you?"  
"I'm fine." I sigh, picking the book back up and pretending to read it.  
"Seriously. Are you ok?"  
"Yes, seriously, I'm fine."  
"Ok." he sighs, "How's Bae?"  
"Great." I say, turning to face him "…Although he was a little traumatised by the delightful show you put on at lunch" I say sardonically.  
"Oh. You saw that…" I can't believe him. _No, I didn't see that – _Is he stupid.  
"Of course I did"  
"Yeah… sorry."  
"Don't be, you're doing what I told you too, you're moving on. It's nice to see you happy again"  
"Really?"  
"Really. I'm happy for you" I say.  
"…good." His voice is dripping with disappointment. I'm trying hard to hold back. I want to tell him I miss him, that I wish we could get back together. But that would mean two things; he'd one and his head games had worked, and I'd just be hurting myself.  
"So, do you want to come to the forest with me or something later?"  
"I don't think that's a very good idea." I tell him. "Maybe Lily would go with you?"  
"No, she's got to work at her dad's shop. Are you sure you don't want to come."

I look him in the eyes. Yes I would like to go. But I can't. I cannot do that to him.  
"Listen. I do want to come with you, yes. But I can't" I tell him. "I'm not going to do that to you."  
"Do what to me?" he shouts.  
"Shhhh!" The old librarian who is sat at the other side of the room hisses.  
"Upset you again" I whisper.  
"You didn't upset me, I upset myself" his words are raspy.  
"Because of what I did." I add.  
"So? It wasn't all your fault. And besides, I don't care about how sad I was, it doesn't match how happy I was with you the rest of the time."  
"I'm sorry… we need a break at least. And anyway, you seemed to be having plenty of fun with Lily. Don't break her heart for my sake."  
"But what I feel for her isn't the same." He sighs.  
"Well then maybe she isn't the one." I tell him. "But you will find someone. I know you will"  
"I already did. I found you."  
"Caspar please, let's not have this conversation again."  
"Then I'll follow you home, I will follow you home and wait until we can have this conversation." He says.  
"Well then you'll be waiting for a long time. Because I don't ever want to have it."  
"Please, I just-"  
"Goodbye, Caspar" I put the book down on the desk, get up and walk out of the library.


	21. Chapter 21

**So guys, it's coming to an end. Not yet though, but soon. There'll be a few chapters after this, so please keep reading! Thanks for reading guys; don't forget to review and favourite - love you all! xx :)**

The walk back with Bae is silent. Caspar and Lily walk ahead of us, but occasionally stop so Caspar can put on a nice show. We both just keep walking, ignoring them both. When we get back I go straight upstairs, walking past dad – who is trying to get my attention, and lock myself in my room. I sit in front of a mirror and stare at my reflection. Not in vanity though, no I look at myself and think. I just sit and think. Before I know it, I'm sobbing.

When I pull myself together, I stumble down the stairs and make my way into the living room. I stop myself from going in when I hear their conversation.  
"…so she was just fine with it?"  
"Well she said she was, but I could tell she wasn't." Bae explains.  
"Did he know she was there."  
"Oh, he knew. He looked her straight in the eyes. It was very deliberate."  
"I can't believe I trusted him. Honestly, if he thinks he can knock up my daughter, leave her and then torment her, he's got a lot on his hands." _Right. _I think. _That would be understandable if the tables were turned and he broke up with me. _  
"What do I do Bae? I mean, I love that you're looking out for your sister, but I need to do something. Maybe I should go and talk to Caspar." _No. For the love of god, he can't be serious._  
"No, I don't think that's such a good idea." _Thanks Bae._ "Maybe I could. I mean, he still tries to talk to me; and up until now I haven't said much, but I could. If you want?" _Wait? Caspar has tried to talk to Bae? When? Why didn't he tell me this before?_  
"Ok. Yeah that'd be a good idea" Dad agrees. I can't help myself, I push open the door.  
"Well I don't." I tell them. "Just…" I trail off as I notice something on the news. I grab the remote to turn it up

"_Hundreds killed at Osyrana as war scare continues." _A plastic looking woman summarises. _"The event happened at around six this morning, with hundreds of soldiers and their families from the capitol of Osyrana being held hostage and shot by Eron soldiers in their own villages. The islands of Osyrana and Eron have been at war for a few months now and although Panem is not involved yet, many fear that our alliance with Osyrana may put our country in danger. The attack was unplanned and unexpected, leading Capitol officials worrying for the safety of Panem. Although rumours of unexpected attacks are being spread – President Paylor has confirmed that Panem is not under any direct threat and has requested that everyone stays calm…" _I switch the television off and the room remains silent.  
"…dad?" I ask. He doesn't say anything, but looks me straight in the eyes. "How long have you known about the war?" the silence is unbearable.  
"A while." Is all he says.  
"Why didn't you tell me about it." I look at Bae. "Why didn't you tell _us?"  
_"I… Your mum thought… Well with the baby, and then the miscarriage… I didn't want to worry you"  
"You didn't want to what? _WAR SCARES. Dad. War scares. _ What if suddenly they declare war on us? How would you spin your way out of that one?_"  
_"Forest. Please… let's not talk about this here, in front of Bae."  
"What's it going to change whether I'm here or not" Bae asks. "I still know about the war." He reminds him. Dad sighs and collapses onto the sofa.  
"I know. I just didn't want to scare either of you. You have to promise not to get to worried about it though, there's no need to worry about it. I didn't tell you because your mum and I thought it would be best if-" I interrupt him with a groan of disappointment.  
"I'm sick of everyone thinking they know what's 'best' for me. Because no-one does. Dad, you should have told us."  
"I know. I'm sorry. I just. Sorry" he stutters.  
"It's ok" I say, my voice monotone.  
"Do you think they're true? The war scares?" Bae asks, I can see he's a little shaken up and worried by the news.  
"No… maybe" dad tells him. "I hope not."  
"Me too" I sigh, taking a seat next to him on the sofa. "Don't worry Bae. I'll look out for you" I say,  
"Why?!" He almost retorts.  
"Because you're my brother" I say, as if it's obvious, because it is. "And you said you'd look out for me. With Caspar. Thanks."  
"It's fine." He sighs.  
"Hey, I forgot, Haymitch said he wanted to talk to you"  
"_Haymitch?_ Really? Haymitch wanted to talk to me?" I say, my tone incredulous.  
"Really." He confirms. "I'd go soon, or he will've passed out by the time you get to him."

I take my time to get to Haymitch's, taking in deep breaths of the air. It's… sweet. I know that sounds odd, but it's the only way I can explain it. I hesitate before knocking on the door, but I do in the end and I know that it's done know, I can't undo it. I don't know why I'm so nervous. It's just Haymitch. The door creaks open, and – to no one's surprise – an extraordinarily hung over Haymitch answers the door.  
"Sweetheart" He mumbles. He always calls me that, 'because I'm like my mother' apparently.  
"Haymitch." I nod.  
"I thought you wouldn't come."  
"Well I did."  
"I suppose you better come in then." He sighs. I follow him into the house, which is extremely untidy, so nothing's different here.  
"Would you like a drink?" he offers me a bottle of some sort of liquor.  
"I'm 15."  
"Age doesn't seem to affect you though, does it" He jokes. Although I don't find it very funny.  
"What did you want Haymitch?" I change the subject, curious to why I'm here.  
"Right. That boy. The Finnick-y one"  
"Caspar?"  
"That one, yeah. You're not with him anymore are you?"  
"No. is this all you wanted to talk to me about-"  
"Shh. Let me finish" he interrupts. "I think it's a bad idea."  
"You think what's a bad idea?"  
"Not being with him"  
"What?"  
"You need him."  
"No I don't."  
"Yes. Yes you do. Listen, sweetheart. Ages ago, and I mean ages… Your mum came to me and told me she wanted to get drunk. I let her, obviously, but that's beside the point. The point is what me and your mother discussed whilst drunk." He starts rambling, and I find myself snapping him back to reality.  
"Haymitch!"  
"What?"  
"Where is this going?"  
"Oh, right. Your mother asked me to make sure he stayed alive. He had come to me earlier that day to say exactly the same thing; to tell me to keep her alive. And I said one thing to you mum, that is still true to this day. I looked her in the eyes and told her: 'You could live a hundred lifetimes and not deserve him, you know.'"  
"Ok…" I say, still a little confused as to what point he's trying to make.  
"It's the same with you and Odair. He looks at you in a way that just screams 'I'd die for you' and I'm sure he would."  
"Don't talk about dying, please" I say, still a little unnerved by the recent realisation that we could be at war any time soon.  
"Fine. Just… think about it, yeah?"  
"Maybe" I say as I get up. Just before I leave, he stops me at the door.  
"Come back when you've thought about it" he sighs.

The truth is I will think about it, I can't do anything but think about it. I think about it for the entirety of the journey home, which is admittedly not long, but it gives me enough time to think about what's just been said. Why does it bug me so much? More importantly; why does it bug Haymitch so much? He was just exaggerating when he said that Caspar would die for me. I'm sure he was. Then why does it bug me? I sigh as I let myself into the house.

"That was quick, is everything ok?" dad calls.

No. no it isn't.


	22. Chapter 22

**Just to clarify - this isn't the end yet! I still have a chapter or two up my sleeve. I'm not sure whether or not to do a third book? Maybe one in the future, about Bae's life. Let me know in a review if it's a good idea. Thanks for reading guys! Love you all. Reviews = happiness and quicker uploads. xx :)**

I can't sleep. I constantly twist and turn in bed, finding each hour more difficult to bear. I stare at the clock; 1.45am. I sit up, knowing I won't be able to sleep so there is no use in trying. Something is keeping me up. What did Haymitch mean – "Come back when you've thought about it."? It doesn't make sense. Unless he's trying to tell me something, but he's not really type for codes.

School the next morning was boring and horrible, but I remain sane by continue to think. Ok, so maybe not 'sane' but definitely not bored. I'm even more 'not bored' when, after lunch, I'm ushered into our school hall. I recognise most of the people here, and then I realise everyone from my year and the year above is hear. Bae's year, however isn't. I stand in silence, as everyone around me says what I'm thinking; why are we here? We should be in lessons, but we're just stood here waiting for… what? What or who are we waiting for? The hall goes silent as our headmaster walks in. I've only seen her once before; and never really bothered to learn her name. She is tall, well-built and has grey-brown hair which sits in a bob on her head.  
"Good afternoon, students" She starts, her voice expresses what I can only describe as relaxed urgency. "I'm afraid I have something very… serious to talk to you about. As many of you are aware; there is currently a war zone situation in Osyrana. Fortunately it's very unlikely to move its way here to Panem, however. Ever school across the country, from the capitol to thirteen, is being asked to submit young soldiers to fight in Osyrana. It is only a voluntary thing, but you need to decide the end of school tomorrow." She continues speaking, but I stop listening. Now is when I realise, when all of the clues add up and hit me in the chest. I run out of the hall, through the corridor, past the office and out of school. I doubt anyone noticed me, but I keep running just in case.

I run to Haymitch's and hammer my fists on the door until my knuckles bleed. It hurts but I keep knocking until he opens it.  
"I thought about it. I know what you mean now. I understand" all of my words are rushed and my breathing is heavy.  
"Took you long enough" Haymitch sighs, opening the door properly so I can come in. We sit down at a table this time. He's sober, which just proves he knew I'd catch on.  
"He'll die" is all I can say.  
"That's what I said yesterday. He'll die for _you._"  
"He came to you. Didn't he? He came here yesterday, before me." Haymitch nods.  
"He said he couldn't get through to anyone else, I was the last person to contact."  
"What did he say?"  
"Not much. But he did give me this. Said that I could only give it to you when you realised." He takes a small box out of his pocket and throws it at me. I open it up to find the worst.

It's a ring.

It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen, but I can't bring myself to look at it for too long. He knew that this would get to me. The truth is. I do love him. I thought that I was hurting him when I was with him, but really I was hurting myself by keeping my distance.

I stay at Haymitch's for the rest of the afternoon, knowing there's no use in going back to school. I won't be able to handle it. When I start to see people making their way home, I head out of the house and make my way to Caspar's. I sit of the steps of the porch and wait in the rain until he gets back.

When he does eventually get back, he seems surprised to see me.  
"Forest?"  
"Caspar" I nod.  
"What are you doing here?"  
"You were right, we need to talk."  
"Go on then" He's not yet looked in my eyes, his stare constantly focussed on his feet, in some sort of pain.  
"Not here."  
"If not here, nowhere"  
"Fine" I sigh. "How come you were late back?" I ask, even though I know the answer.  
"I needed to sort something out" he says, confirming my theory.  
"You went to talk to them didn't you? About the war. You want to go and fight, don't you"  
"Why is that important?"  
"Just." I'm about to shout, but I feel my voice curl in on itself. "Just tell me."  
"Fine. I did, yes."  
"Why?"  
"Because it's honourable…?" he shakes his head. "I don't have a specific reason." I sigh and close my eyes before saying anything.  
"Don't go." I whisper.  
"What?"  
"Don't. Go." I repeat, louder and with more confidence this time.  
"Why?"  
"Because. Because. It's dangerous. What if you get hurt? What if you get _killed?_ What about your mum, Caspar? What. What. …what about me?" I whisper the last words, feeling timid as I say them.  
"You didn't seem to care until now."  
"Of course I care!" I shout, I feel the anger build me up. "I'VE ALWAYS CARED!" I stop there, feeling my voice squeak as it catches in my throat. Tears build a wall across my pupils.  
"Then why did you never show it?" Caspar asks. He sounds angry and confused and sad and scared all at the same time.  
"Because I thought I was doing the right thing. But I was wrong" there it goes, the first tear to free itself from the barrier of my eye, down my cheek.  
"You're right, you were wrong. And now you can't stand that you were wrong just once, can you. I loved you. I still do love you, but I'm not sure you love me. Maybe you did once, but now it's different. That's why I'm going. That's why I'm going to war; because I can't stand to be near you all the time, not even having the ability to talk to you anymore." All goes silent for a while. The only sound it that of the slight rain that lands on the ground around us.  
"Caspar… I… Haymitch gave me the ring." I say. He looks at me, into my eyes for the first time in a while.  
"What?"  
"He gave me the ring." I repeat. "That's what you've been waiting to hear, isn't it?" I say. I pull the box out of my pocket and show it to him for proof. "And you're right. Maybe I did love you once. But I never stopped. It's always been here. Right in my soul. I still love you."

That's when he takes the box out of my hands and opens it. He looks at it for a while, as if he's contemplating something. He takes it out of the box and examines it, holding it out in the rain.  
"My dad gave this to me… well he didn't personally, but he left it for me. It was in a box full of things, a spear, some rope, various other things from his childhood. And a note. The note explained each of the things. What they represented. The spear being respect and strength, the rope – unity or something. And then the ring. The ring that represents eternity, and beauty. He told me to make sure that I only gave this to one person, the person who was as beautiful, inside and out, as the ring." He clenches it in his fist before looking at me again.  
"Which is why…" he kneels in front of me, on one leg. "I'd like you to have it." My heart races more than ever before.  
"Caspar, are you…"  
"I know you're only 15. But you'll be 16 soon. And then we can-"  
"Caspar. Just. Stop rambling and listen to me for a minute" I say, shutting him up. "I love you. But. I can't marry you. Not yet. Maybe if you ask me in a few years' time, then I'd say yes, but for the time being, I can't." He stands up and takes my hand.  
"I understand. But promise me one thing."  
"What?"  
"We can go back to how we were; before any of the bad, stupid, idiotic stuff happened. Before the baby, before you tried to jump, before the war. When we were happy."  
"Always."


	23. Chapter 23

****_Ok, so I am SO RIDICULOUSLY SORRY! I know I haven't posted in so long. I cannot quite tell you how sorry I am for not posting, but I've been quite ill and haven't had time to write. I'm also doing my GCSE's so I have a lot of coursework to get done. But I finally got round to finishing the chapter and I'm writing the next one as you're reading this (maybe)... Anyway, I love you all for reading, I'm so sorry (again) and I hope you enjoy this. _

_Don't forget to Review/Favourite! xx_

**Forest's point of view.**

So that's what we did; we went back to how we were. Before everything went wrong, of course. We decided that telling people wasn't a good idea for the time being, we kept ourselves to ourselves. It's hard to pretend sometimes. When you spend so much time being so sad and confused, people know and expect that you won't just go back to being bubbly and happy and carefree; so pretending to still be sad and confused is extraordinarily hard when one person makes you so happy. Dad is the worst person to have to hide my feelings from. I've always been so open about how I feel with dad if no-one else, so I had two choices; tell him or avoid him. …I chose the latter.

This morning, I sit in my room and watch the rain. Mum and dad are both at work and Bae is in the living room with ivy – I think. It hasn't really stopped raining; not for the last few days anyway. I start to think. About everything. I just end up trailing off into a world of my own, clouded memories and shadowed thoughts, but a noise brings be back to reality. A quiet tapping at my window. I shoot my head in its direction, to find Caspar hanging on the window ledge. I run to the window and open it as wide as it will go.  
"Caspar?!"  
"Yeah?"  
"What are you doing?"  
"I thought it would be fun" He says, as if the whole situation is completely normal. "And I didn't want to come to the door, it would give us away."  
"Right. So you thought you'd come in through the window?"  
"Yes."  
"What if I wasn't in here?"  
"I don't know, and I hate to end the conversation – but I am about to lose all feeling in my arms, probably ending with me dead on the floor, so do you think you could give me a hand?"  
"Yeah, sorry" I sigh, laughing at him a little. I don't know how he hasn't killed himself with his crazy antics. I grab his arms and pull him up into the room.  
"So what exactly did you come here for?" I ask, when he's inside, sat on my bed; no longer facing the danger of falling to his death.  
"I missed you" He says, in a deliberately pathetic and whiney voice, running his hand through his insanely wet hair.  
"Aww, but seriously, why did you just climb up the side of my house?"  
"I thought you might like to come out with me or something."  
"Out? As in outside?" Caspar nods. "Are you crazy? Look at the rain – it's practically flood weather." I sigh. "Besides, there's no way of getting out of the house without Bae noticing. And you're not getting me to climb out the window."  
"Alright, I guess we just have to stay in here then"  
"Well we have no other options really" I laugh.  
"So I gu-" he goes silent and his jaw drops when he sees something from the window.  
"Caspar? Caspar what is it?" I ask, turning to look out of the window. Far, far in the distance I watch as what looks like a small hovercraft drops a bomb. I can just hear as it hits the ground; the faint sound of desperation that follows.  
"It's happening, it's really happening." Is all I can say. I don't know how to react, what to do. Caspar grabs my hand.  
"We need to leave."  
"Where?"  
"I. I don't know, but we need to do something!"  
"I need to tell my dad." I panic.  
"Ok, we'll get your brother and ivy, and then go to the bakery. Then I'll go and get my mum." I nod.

We rush down the stairs and into the living room.  
"Caspar? What are you doing here?" Bae snarls.  
"Bae, don't ask stupid questions, we don't have time." I say. I look at Caspar, "It's going to be muddy. I'm not going to be able to get Bae's to the bakery quickly, not in a wheelchair." My heart is beating so fast.  
"I'll carry him" Caspar says.  
"I hate to interrupt, but I'm a bit confused." Bae says, now in Caspar's arms. "What's going on, why do we so desperately need to get to the bakery?"  
"We'll explain on the way" I say.

Something changes in you when you actually run for your life. When your life depends on it, your legs move so fast you can't tell and you have a newfound need to protect everyone. Ivy finds it hard to keep up so I pick her up and run, just as Caspar is with Bae. When we get to the bakery, it is apparent to almost everyone what is going on. Mass panic is taking place and, unlike us, most of the residents of 12 are running home, out of the bakery. Dad is fully aware of what is going on and take Bae out of Caspar's arms and sits him down in a backup wheelchair he keeps at the Bakery.  
"Where's mum?" I ask, my voice shaking.  
"She's coming don't worry." Dad says. How can he stay so calm?  
"I have to go and find my mum" Caspar whispers, trying desperately not to freak out.  
"No, you stay here, I'll get her" dad tells him. "Forest, there is a trap door to the basement in the kitchen, it's pretty deep underground, so if you need to go somewhere safe, go there ok?" I nod, hoping it won't come to that. He turns to Ivy, "Don't worry. I'll get your parents here safe too, ok?" She gives him a respectful smile and he leaves, causing the bakery to go silent.

**Caspar's point of view.**

I take a seat next to her, but she doesn't look at me.  
"It's ok, they're going to be fine" I whisper.  
"Hmmm."  
"Forest. Look at me, it's going to be fine" I say, she still doesn't look me in the eye. "How about I get you a drink?" I sigh as I get up and head to the kitchen.

In the kitchen, I find Bae, struggling to reach the tap, so I go and help him.  
"Here" I say, filling a glass with tap water and handing it to him.  
"Thanks" he says as he takes the glass. He takes a sip before saying anything else. "Caspar"  
"Yes?" I fill another glass for Forest.  
"I know… about you and Forest."  
"She told you?"  
"No. I just, well I kind of figured it out. Don't worry, no one else knows, or at least nobody I know of."  
"Oh."  
"I just thought. Well I won't tell anyone. I'm not sure dad likes you very much at the moment. So you might want to… die it down a little."  
"Ok, I understand."

**Forest's point of view.**

By the time Caspar gets back, dad has already returned with everyone that he promised to bring.  
"Everyone get into the basement!" dad screeches at us. We do what he says, no questions asked as we all know the consequences that could come with not moving.

The basement is slightly damp and very dark, but that is soon sorted by a few small gas lamps and torches. Everyone sorts themselves out into small groups, checking that every member of their family is present and ok. I look around to try and find Caspar. He's sat with his mum, making sure he's ok. He catches my glance and gives me a quick look of "not now, speak later." I take the hint and go and sit with Bae.

We sit in silence as I count everyone. Across the room, almost exactly opposite from where Bae and I are sat, is Caspar and his mum. Dad is stood in the corner of the room with a concerned but "on-top-of-it" look on his face, as if he's contemplating something, and mum is sat with Gale, Garnet and Ivy. It's a while before I realise that Haymitch is sat next to Bae, with a bottle of liquor in his hand.  
"Sweetheart" he nods. "Alright?"  
"Well I'm definitely sober" I say sardonically. "I would have thought that at least in a war zone you'd be able to go without a drink."  
"You obviously don't know me all that well."  
"Trust me, she doesn't want to" Dad calls from behind me.  
"Aha, alright loverboy"  
"_Loverboy?_" I cough, trying to stifle my laughter.  
"Yeah, Haymitch, _loverboy? _Haven't heard that in a long time."  
"Sorry. I don't know. I just. This place reminds me of the bunkers in 13"  
"Mmm." Dad agrees.

I don't say anything, because I've learnt that nothing good comes from my parents past or bringing it up in conversation.


	24. Chapter 24

**New chapter guys! Hope you enjoy it - don't forget to review and favourite! :D **

It must be at least eleven by now, I think to myself. I'm sat up against the wall staring at my feet with a blanket over my legs. I look down at Bae. He's asleep, along with everyone else, on the floor; but unlike everyone else, he's shivering. I pull the blanket off my legs and lay it over the top of his, with the knowledge that it will only provide little extra warmth; but that, I guess, is better than nothing. It's very dark and still very damp, but to add to these conditions I'm starving and tired. I did try and get some sleep, but I think it was clear to almost everyone that's not going to happen. I have trouble sleeping normally, never mind in war conditions.

Until earlier today, I had never experienced a bombing. It turns out that I was the only one in the basement who hadn't. Apparently, there were bomb drills at school when I wasn't there, so Ivy, Caspar and Bae were all pretty calm about it. Mum, Dad, Gale, Garnet and Finnick's mother all kept saying how familiar the feeling was too (I think Haymitch would probably agree if he wasn't passed out on the floor the whole time). Being sat in the dark in a bunker just waiting for the next blast, the ear-shatteringly loud bangs, the ground shaking so much that you have to hold yourself still, the silence that comes after it all; all of these things were almost normal to them. Not comfortable, but normal. I could tell that dad was trying desperately not to think about it all, trying stay strong – especially for Bae, but I could see how difficult it was for him.

I look at him now, asleep with mum on the floor. I still can't believe it; they've been through so much and they still but up with this. I guess after a while, things don't tend to phase you; not when you've been in and survived two hunger games, lead rebels in a war against the government in its darkest days and won, not to mention everything that's happened afterwards. I realise now how much I look up to my parents. I have more respect for my mother than any other being on this planet, even if I don't show it sometimes. She is a ridiculously strong woman, who has been through more than anyone else could even imagine. Her stories could fill a hundred books, and she would still have more to tell. And Dad, well, he's a different kind of strong. Yes he's been through so much too, some would say more, but he has never done anything selfishly. Everything he's done and everything he does, he does for the woman he loves.

I'm interrupted from my thoughts by a tap on the shoulder. I whip my head around and stare for a minute until my eyes adjust to the dark. It's Caspar.  
"Couldn't sleep, huh?" He whispers, making sure not to wake anyone.  
"That's a dumb question" I sigh. "But yeah, I couldn't sleep."  
"Sorry, me either."  
"It's so quiet." I whisper. "I don't like it"  
"Yeah, I know what you mean, it's like there's no noise from above ground either." He wraps his arms around me. Safe. That's how I feel when he's there. Safe and no longer vulnerable.  
"Are you not cold?" He asks, noticing my lack of jacket or blanket.  
"Kind of, I gave my blanket to Bae, he needed it more than me"  
"You feel freezing" he takes his arm off me and unbuttons his jacket, before draping it over my shoulders.  
"Thanks." I whisper, there is a very uncomfortable silence that follows. "Caspar." I start.  
"Hmm?"  
"What's going to happen?"  
"What do you mean?"  
"To us. What's going to happen to everyone here?" I start to panic, and Caspar can tell.  
"Hey, Shhhh. It's ok. Everything's going to be ok. I promise. I'll look after you"  
"How can you promise that?"  
"Because my dad managed to look after the woman he loved. Your dad did the same, and they went through everything imaginable. If they could do it, I can too." How does he do that? How does he always have the perfect answer on hand?  
"I love you" I sniff, looking up to just make out his eyes in the dark.  
"Honestly, I would have thought that at least in a war zone you'd be able to keep your hands off of each other" Haymitch interrupts, mimicking my earlier comment about staying sober. I sigh at him, but we drop the hug anyway.  
"Anyway, what if your dad woke up now, he'd go ballistic."  
"I guess you're right" I sigh.  
"We should probably tell him soon."  
"Or not, I'm not quite sure how he'd react, but something tells me he wouldn't be very happy." I explain.  
"She's right, he wouldn't be all too happy. I mean Peeta wouldn't hurt a fly, unless that fly upset his little girl. In that case it's a very different story." He tells Caspar, very matter-of-factly. "Now, you two need to shut up, I want to get some sleep" and with that, he's practically passed out on the ground within a matter of seconds.  
"You should probably sleep too. Don't worry, I'll be here, you'll be safe."  
"But-"  
"Shhh. I won't let anything happen to you"

When I wake up, Caspar is still awake, but on the other side of the room; just like he was before. I look at him with questioning eyes, and he replies by pointing to my dad, who is also awake. I nod to tell him I understand. We're the only people up so far, so I go and sit with dad.  
"Hey" he whispers, not out of respect for the others who are still asleep, but because he's too drained to talk.  
"Hi" I whisper back. "Are you ok?"  
"I don't know any more" He sighs. "I haven't known in a while"  
"What do you mean..?"  
"I mean that everything is going wrong. What with you and the baby and then Caspar and now this. I just-" I watch his fist tighten into balls and his breathing becomes more rapid.  
"Dad!" I stop him. "Breathe." I grab his hand in panic and desperation as I know what usually happens next, and I can't deal with one of his episodes now.  
"What? Sorry. Oh, Forest, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. I just"  
"Dad, it's ok."  
"Sorry. So, urr… How are you, are you dealing ok."  
"Me? Oh, I'm fine, I have C-" I stop myself before I say something I'll regret. "Haymitch. Haymitch and Bae, they're looking after me." I say, hoping he didn't notice.  
"That's good." He says. Good, he didn't notice. "How many of us are there?"  
"huh? oh umm…" I quickly count everyone. "…10. There are 10 of us."  
"There is a cabinet in the corner, can you go and look in the top draw for a pen and paper?" Dad instructs. I do as I'm told, and sure enough there is a cabinet in the corner where I find a pad of paper and some pens. I grab the pad and a blue pen and get them back to dad.  
"Ok, call out the names of everyone here" dad says.  
"Ok, Gale."  
"Yupp."  
"Garnett and Ivy"  
"Ok…"  
"Haymitch"  
"Yeah"  
"Caspar and his mum"  
"Right, Caspar and Annie."  
"Mum and Bae"  
"Yeah"  
"And You and Me"  
"Obviously. Thanks. Right, out of all these people, who do you think is fit to go up to the bakery and see how bad it is?"  
"Um… Gale, You, Caspar, Mum and Me."  
"_You?_ I don't think so."  
"What?! Dad, there is no way you are keeping me down here for much longer."  
"Fine" he sighs. "But you have to be really careful up there; I don't want you getting hurt."

"I won't. I promise."  
"Good. Right, we just have to wait for the others to wake up, which gives me time to think of a plan" he says, immediately scribbling something down on the paper. His head shoots up for a second and he gives me a puzzled look.

"Forest, how come Caspar followed you into bakery yesterday?" I feel my heart beat fast. Oh god, our cover's been blown. No. Not yet anyway. Maybe I can twist it around so that dad likes Caspar a bit more. Yeah, I bet I could get him to like him again.  
"Oh, he saw the panic and I was struggling with Bae, so he offered to help."  
"Right, so he wasn't bothering you then?"  
"No. Quite the opposite."  
"Good, because I would be mad if he was. Sometimes people just need to be put in their place." He says, before turning back to his scribbling's. So that plan backfired.

When everyone is up, dad explains his plan.  
"…right, so Me, Katniss, Gale, Caspar and Forest will all go up and see how safe it is. Haymitch, if you don't mind, I'd like you to be our go between. Keep everyone informed on what's happening above and underground."  
"Umm... ok?" Haymitch stutters.  
"When we are above ground, we will need to see if anyone is injured, trapped or in need of any other types of help. We will also grab some food from the bakery kitchen…" He swallows before stuttering his next words. "If the bakery is still… standing. Ok, has everyone got that? Good."


	25. Chapter 25

**Thanks for the reviews guys! Love you all and keep them coming. x**

I don't know if you've ever seen your whole town demolished, but it's indescribable. Everything you've ever known around you is gone; it's not the place you grew up in anymore. I stand frozen for a moment, just looking. Eventually I snap back into reality when dad touches my shoulder.  
"Take this" he hands me a scarf. "The air could still be a little poisonous." He says. I nod and wrap it over my nose and mouth, before taking a deep breath through my nose.  
"Right, so everyone just split up. If you find anyone or anything, shout and we'll come and help you." Dad's voice is muffled under his scarf. "Oh, and we'll need someone to stay around the bakery and make sure Haymitch is informed." He adds.  
"I'll do it" I watch gale volunteer. "I might be able to recover some stuff from the bakery too"  
"Thanks" Dad gives him an appreciative look before swiftly turning back to face the rest of us. "Be careful." Is all he says before we all leave, heading off in different directions.

I trail off not really going anywhere in particular, but stop dead in my tracks. I thought shoots to mind. I turn around and run in the opposite direction, down the road past our house, which doesn't look too badly damaged. The roof is broken and so our most of the windows. The door has fallen down and some of the old red bricks have cracked or fallen off, but the majority of it is still standing. I forget about it and start running, I can't get upset about that. I'm looking for one person.

Cinna.

I can't believe that we forgot him, he's practically family. I'm so stupid. When dad went to get mum, I thought he just went to get her from work, but she didn't go to work, she went out to the meadow. I find his house worse than ours, but not as bad as most of the houses on our road. I run through the door, knowing that running into this building is like running into my own grave, but I don't care.  
"Cinna?" I call, looking around the rooms. "Cinna?"  
"In here" I hear him call. He sounds hurt. I brace myself as I open the door, making my way to his voice. He's on the floor; alive, but not well.  
"Cinna!" I shriek and run to his side. He has some serious cuts from what I'm guessing was a broken window, judging by the empty window frame. His foot is the worst, broken and bloody, it looks like something fell on it.  
"Forest" Is all he can manage.  
"Shh. Don't talk. I'm going to get you out of here." I tell him, my voice soft and reassuring, although I'm not quite sure how I'm going to carry a full grown man out of a building by myself. I scan the room for any useful materials or equipment that seems to be worth taking back with me. The curtains, I pick them up and rip them into strips. I then take one of the strips and wrap it around his foot as a bandage to stop the bleeding. There's also a serving cart that mum uses for accessories in the room. It has a tray at the bottom and just a flat surface on the top. I place the strips of curtain in the bottom and shove all of the pieces of ribbon and beads off of the top so it's clear. Cinna still looks like he's in a lot of pain.  
"I'm sorry if I hurt you, it's only for a little while." I tell him before struggling to lift him up in my arms and dropping him onto the cart. I push it out of the doorway and back up the road.

As I attempt to push the cart up the road I ask him questions, just to make sure he's still with me.  
"Is your foot the worst?"  
"Yeah"  
"Was it the window?"  
"Yeah. Well. The table fell on my foot."  
"Don't worry, we'll fix it."  
"mmm"

For the entirety of the journey back, Cinna continues to make small noises of pain, like a wounded animal; little whimpers and gasps. I know that I'm running out of time so I start to run. When I make it too the bakery, I get gale to help me carry Cinna. He takes him into the basement and I sit waiting amongst the rubble. When he returns I leap to my feet and look at him, waiting for him to speak. To say anything.  
"You are so lucky."  
"What?"  
"Cinna told me where you found him. You could have been killed."  
"I don't care what about Cinna?"  
"He's fine. Garnett will sort him out, don't worry" He almost smiles. Almost. "But seriously, you almost died. You're lucky your dad isn't around, or he might have killed you" He shakes his head.  
"I don't care" I say defiantly, "He would have died if I didn't go in there."  
"Alright." He sighs "Don't worry, I won't tell your dad." He adds, his voice merely a whisper, ending it with a wink.  
"Do you want me to take over here? Then you could go out and help the others" I ask  
"Ok, sure." He says before he walks off.

I look through the rubble that covers the ground, especially where the kitchen used to be, just in case I find something useful. I'm stopped when a familiar voice interrupts me.  
"Hey" He whispers, as if we'd just bumped into each other in the street.  
"Caspar" I look up and face him, giving him nothing more than a small smile.  
"Are you ok?" He takes a few slow steps until he's standing right in front of me, entangling his fingers in mine.  
"I'm fine" I whisper. "I think I just saved Cinna's life. What about you"  
"I've been waiting for you to come back" my heart stops for a second. "Where's your dad?"  
"I don't know, I think he went towards the school."  
"Perfect"  
"What?" I say, but he doesn't reply. At least not with words anyway. No, instead he runs one hand through my knotted hair, and pulls me closer, forcing his lips on mine. I don't hesitate to let him though, this kiss couldn't be more perfect. Every single worry or pain I had before is gone. Until something interrupts.

"Ahem" Someone coughs to get our attention I look up and see dad. I feel like I should say something but I just can't, I just… I can't. I look at Caspar who also seems to be lost for words.  
"Mr Mellark" He starts.  
"Get your hands off my daughter"  
"Dad please-"  
"I said hands off." I feel Caspar's hand slipping out of mine, but then I do something I know I'll regret. I grip it tighter, squeezing his fingers between mine.  
"No." I tell him. "He doesn't have to."  
"Forest, what are you-" Caspar starts. I give him a look and he immediately shuts up.  
"Dad. I know that you don't like him. Or you did but now you don't, or you never did or whatever. I love him. I always have, even if I doubted it at times. And if you can't accept that then, then"  
"Forest, stop." Caspar says. I look at him quizzically as he bobs his head as if to indicate I'm missing something. I look at dad; his eyes are colourless and lifeless, his fists clenched, his face hazy. I know exactly what this means.  
"Dad. Dad, I'm sorry, I…" I stutter, but it doesn't work. He's walking towards Caspar with an expression that can only mean something terrible. I watch in terror as he lands a punch, straight in the temple.  
"NO!" I screech, and without realising it, I run in front of him, taking the second punch. And the third and the fourth and the fifth…


	26. Chapter 26

**Sorry it's been a while guys, don't forget to Review/Favourite!**

I blink my eyes open, and slowly but surely blurred shapes start to focus. Bae is looking over me, waiting attentively. I hear him gasp a little, before almost springing to life and leaning closer.  
"You're awake" he whispers with wide eyes. I seem to be in a new environment, or at least I different part of one. I try and sit up to see where I am but I can't, I mean I physically can't. It's like my body ways more than a tonne of bricks. It also hurts. A lot. Like I was dropped out of a window.  
"Bae, what…"  
"Sh. Quiet." He says, authority in his voice. "The others aren't awake yet."  
"Sorry" I whisper. "What happened?"  
"Huh? Oh, right you wouldn't remember, would you?" he asks rhetorically. "Actually, what do you remember?"  
"Uh, let me think…" I remember the kiss, obviously, but I'm not going to say that; it's too cheesy and besides, he's my brother. I wrack my brains. "Dad saw me and Caspar and went all funny. Like he did when he tried to strangle you. And then… I don't remember."  
"Right…" he sighs. "So you don't remember dad trying to hit Caspar?"  
"Dad hit Caspar!?"  
"Well." He starts, but sighs again. "Listen, you need to promise not to freak out when I tell you this." He tells me. Just by saying that he's already freaked me out, I'm so confused.  
"You stepped in front of Caspar, that's why you are how you are"  
"In pain" I confirm "Yeah, then what?"  
"Haymitch heard you and dad. He went up to see what was going on, and Caspar was struggling to keep you safe, so Haymitch wrestled dad off you and Gale carried you in here…" He trails off.  
"Bae…"  
"Dad got Caspar. Tried to kill him…" At this point my breathing stops. "Look maybe I shouldn't tell you this, you've just woken up."  
"No, you have to"  
"They fought, and dad ended up strangling him." he pauses. "He hasn't woken up since…"  
"Since? Since what, it was only a few hours ago, right."  
"Forest, it was three days ago."

I stare at him as I try and digest the information. 3 days. **3 days. **_**3 days… **_**  
**"But… but… how come I'm only just waking up now?"  
"Because we medically induced your sleep. That way it would hurt less."  
"Where is he" I try and sit up again, put Bae stops me.  
"I knew I shouldn't have told you. Listen, just breathe… Try and get back to sleep. Just… He's ok, I promise"

I must eventually get back to sleep because the next thing I'm aware of is waking up, and Bae is gone. However, in his place is the last person I'd want to see. Haymitch.  
"What are you doing here" I ask, slightly jokey, though I genuinely want to know.  
"Nice to see you too sweetheart" He sighs  
"You need to stop calling me that"  
"If your mother could put up with it until you were born, then you can put up with it for a little longer."  
"Fine. So why are you here"  
"Is it not obvious?"  
"I wouldn't have asked the question if it was" I say, in a dull tone.  
"Hey, no one likes a smart arse. Someone needed to check on you, but your mother is extremely busy helping at the hospital, Bae and Ivy both need some time to relax and eat, Gale and Garnett don't know you well enough and well, I think that you know your dad isn't the best man for the job." He gives me an empathetic look.  
"Why does someone need to check on me anyway?" I ask, changing the subject.  
"Bae told us that he told you what happened to Caspar." I immediately try and sit up when I hear his name.  
"Woah, calm down, don't try to move." he instructs.  
"How is he?" I ask, trying to hide the panic in my voice.  
"Well…" He sighs. "Who am I kidding, there's no point in lying to you." I cross my arms over my chest to agree with him. "He's not great. Actually he's really not right. They've got him up in the hospital unit with Garnett at the moment; she's doing her best but there really isn't much she can do."  
"What do you mean 'hospital unit'? I was only asleep for three days, there's no way you could have rebuilt anything yet."  
"That's true, but other people have basements like this. Because she was an at home Nurse Garnett and Gale basically have a small hospital room in theirs." Of course. An 'at home Nurse' was basically just a chemist that could prescribe things. She sold remedies and medicines as well as giving small consultations and treatments. Nothing as big as Caspar's injuries though, if anyone was that bad they would go to the hospital.  
"Can I see him."  
"Not today." He says, very bluntly.  
"Please, I have to, why not, please" I pleadingly regurgitate words at him.  
"No, no you don't have to, for multiple reasons, no" He answers my pleads in turn.  
"What reasons?"  
"Well for a start look at you; you can barely sit up without putting yourself in crippling pain. And anyway, I don't think it's a very good idea for you to see him. Not when he's in that state."  
"Please?" I beg.  
"No. Forest, you can't. I do, however, think you need to eat something."  
"Not until you let me out of here and let me see him."  
"Fine. Listen, I'm willing to make a little deal with you. If you eat something with the rest of us, and I mean a full meal, I will take you to go and see him"  
"Ye-"  
"Who said I was finished? There is one other condition."  
"Go on…" I say, ever so slightly suspicious.  
"You have to talk to your dad first."  
"But. What if he… no."  
"Then I'm not taking you to see Caspar."  
"Why do you want me to speak to my dad anyway." I cross my arms and sigh.  
"Because apparently that's my job; I make sure your family stays together." He returns my sigh.

Nobody says anything for a while, in fact it's not until he's about to leave when I finally speak up.  
"Haymitch, wait." He turns around to look at me with a face that I can only explain as 'tired of my tediousness'  
"What"  
"I'll do it, I'll talk to dad." I exhale the words with some difficulty, but I still manage to get them out, nonetheless.


	27. Chapter 27

After being forced to sit with my brother and mum – who continuously ask if I am alright for an hour, and eat what can only be described as the greyest soup you can imagine, lunch is finally over. Haymitch comes to find me after my mother has gone, as we both know that she would not be happy with the deal we've made, it took a lot of convincing to let me get out of bed, never mind go and talk to dad AND Caspar.

"So. Ready to talk to your dad?" Haymitch says with false enthusiasm.  
"What do you think" He laughs at my tone but continues to take me in the right direction anyway. While I was asleep they apparently discovered some old tunnels left from the dark days and got them back into use.  
"Right, it's that one there" Haymitch points out an entrance to my left. "I'm going to wait here but if there's any problems you come and get me."  
"Do I have to do this?" I plead, I know what he's going to say, but ask just in case.  
"Yes. You can't stay mad at your dad. Not now, not here" I sigh and brace myself. _Wrong answer Haymitch. _

I hesitate and close my eyes before pushing open the door. When I open them again, I find dad sat at the end of a broken hospital bed, sketching something. He looks up at me and smiles, gesturing for me to go and sit with him, but I refuse.  
"Hey Forest, didn't expect to see you"  
"Me either if I'm perfectly honest." I tell him. He looks at me, taking everything in. The scars, the bruises, the cuts and bumps; I watch as he traces them with solemn eyes.  
"Why does it always have to be you?" He mumbles.  
"Because you were programmed to hurt the things you love."  
"Look at you, my beautiful girl is smart too" He says with a soft laugh.  
"I guess yeah" then I look at me feet.  
"Does it still all hurt?"  
"Not really. Bae fixed me up quite well. It's Caspar that I'm worried about"  
"Oh god, I'd forgotten all about Caspar"  
"Hmm"  
"How bad is he?" he asks. I don't want to answer it. Saying it aloud means admitting it to be true, and that is something I don't want to bear.  
"he." I stop myself, as the first tear rolls down my cheek. "He's not woken up" dad acts immediately and opens his arms out to me. I sit on his lap as if I were a child and he wraps me up in his arms, making me feel safe.  
"Hey… shhhh. Shhhh. It's ok. He will. I promise." I know he doesn't mean that. I know he wishes that he did, but we both know the truth; Caspar may well never wake up.

After a while of sobbing and talking, dad says that he needs some sleep, so I leave. Haymitch is sat against the wall outside of the room, tapping his fingers impatiently.  
"How'd it go sweetheart?" He asks, only half interested.  
"Good" I return, only half sincere.  
"Right, well if you still want to, I'm willing to keep up my half of the deal. Do you want to go and see him?" He gets up and dusts himself off. I nod and follow him down the tunnel into another cut off section. He leads me up stairs into the fresh air and I follow him down another set of stairs into the Hawthorne's basement. I see Garnett and Haymitch exchange a glance before he leaves.

"He's just over there" She points to the bed in the corner. "I'll leave you alone." I watch as she follows Haymitch out of the room, taking a deep breath before moving anywhere. I take each step very slowly towards the bed, bracing myself for what's to come, and rightly so. When I get there I have to remind myself who it is. He no longer looks like himself at all. I've never seen someone alive look so broken; in fact I'm pretty sure there are dead people who have been in better shape. His jaw is swollen, and although does not look broken exactly, still looks painful. I pick up the clipboard from the end of the bed and look at his diagnosis. Bruised jaw, broken ribs, sprained wrist, and these are just the serious ones. I look at his cheekbones, cut and bloody. Analysing every single cut, scrape, scar, bruise and broken bone; I find it hard to take in. My breathing becomes heavy but I refuse to cry. Why should I cry when I am not the one in a hospital bed? I am not the one who escaped death a week ago.

I take a seat next to the bed. I want to touch him. To hold his hand, to move the hair out of his eyes, to kiss the pain away, but I don't want to hurt him. He did all of this for me. And to think, I was going to give him up, _**because I thought it would be better for us both. **_Well I guess it would have.

"I don't deserve you" I whisper, looking at his eyes, silently wishing they would open.  
"No, you don't" I gasp and jump out of my chair. Did I… could he… no. I imagined it. It's just wishful thinking. Or is it? I have make sure, right? That would be the… sensible thing to do.

"…Caspar?" I whisper staring at his mouth this time, and sure enough it moves.  
"You deserve better than me."  
"Caspar! You're awake!" I laugh incredulously.  
"Are you even listening to me?" He sighs and tries to get up.  
"Oh don't move. You could hurt yourself"  
"Fine." He bats his eyes open properly. "Now, what's all this nonsense you are saying about not deserving me?"  
"What's all this nonsense about me deserving better?" I raise my eyebrows. He doesn't answer. Instead he just looks at me, just as I had not five minutes earlier; examining every aspect.  
"You're hurt." His eyes fill with pain. Not physical pain, emotional.  
"I'm fine"  
"No, no you're not, look at you. You're all bruised."  
"Speak for yourself, Mr two-whole-pages-of-injuries"  
"I don't care. You shouldn't be here, you should be being looked after."  
"I've been looked after for 3 days straight, trust me I'm fine."  
"ok, I think it's clear to us both now, you definitely deserve better than me"  
"_Clear?_ I have no idea what you mean"  
"you could have died"  
"But I didn't"  
"I didn't exactly prevent it though, did I?"  
"If you did, _you_ would have died."  
"Well it's a good thing I didn't then. And I promise. Next time, if I need to, I will protect you" He says. I'm about to say something when I notice him clenching his good fist over one of his ribs.  
"Caspar, are you ok?"  
"I'm fine" He lies.  
"No you're not, I'm going to get Garnett. And I should probably get back now anyway, I'll see you again later. I love you"


	28. Chapter 28

**Katniss' point of view.**

A few days after the bombing, things are beginning to look up. Caspar had woken up and was on the road to recovery, several members of the district had been found unharmed or with few minor injuries and small, temporary houses and hospital units have been put up. Everyone still pretty much uses their own original space as a home though.

As I make my way down the steps into _our _own space in the basement of the old bakery, I hear Gale talking to someone. I mind my own business as he talks to two men, both with suits and glasses about who knows what. When they leave, I'm still sorting out the first aid kit, which is in constant use, as forest is still not quite fixed up.

"What was that about then?" I ask, not turning away from the first aid kit.  
"Oh, they were from the capitol, dropping off emergency supplies." He tells me, I look around to see two massive boxes. He opens them up to reveal one filled with food and another filled with medicine and bandages and all sorts of equipment.

He grabs a bottle of water and a plastic cup and pours himself a drink, whereas I return to re-stocking the miniature hospital until that we seem to have. I click it shut before turning to Gale.  
"You wouldn't believe most of this is for one person, huh" I sigh. He grabs my hand and stares me right in the eye.

"Catnip" He starts.  
"Wow, haven't heard that in a while, wher-" before I can finish he forces his lips on mine and kisses me. His arms are wrapped so tightly around me, it's a fair struggle to push him off of me.  
"Gale! Are you crazy?" I step away from him he doesn't look confused but there is something different about his face. "What are you doing?!" I exclaim.  
"This" he forces his lips on mine again and still, it's a struggle to escape.  
"Why?!" I ask when I do get out of his grip.  
"Because I love you" He says, almost as if we've been married for years or something.  
"No. You love Garnett. _Your wife" _  
"This is about him, isn't it" He says.

I realise where I've seen all of this before. The eyes. The voice. The ignorance. Gale's been hijacked.

"Gale. Look at me. That water, are you sure it's just water"  
"Don't avoid the question" he says, ignorance turning to anger. "Is it or isn't it?"  
"Yes. Gale it is, because me and Peeta have been married for years, and we have to children."  
"You're lying" He shrieks. I try and run to see the water, to just check my theory, but he catches me and pulls my arm back. I cry in pain but no one hears me because we're in a closed room underground.  
"I'm not lying Gale, I promise you I am not lying."  
"Do you love me?" for a question so sweet, his voice is scarily violent.  
"Yes Gale I love you, but I'm not _in love with you._"  
"That means nothing." He twists my arm again. I scream because the pain is getting worse and worse as he grips my wrist tighter and tighter, his free hand reaches for the box full of medical supplies and grabs something, but I'm not sure what it is until it's pressed against my neck. An operating knife.

"Tell me the truth! Do you love me?" His voice is so loud I'm surprised no one can hear it.  
"Ok. Yes, I love you Gale" I say, knowing that answering otherwise would mean certain death.  
"Prove it." His voice is quieter now, which is somehow more menacing. He drops the knife on the floor and turns me around. He is about to force my lips on me again but this time he just completely falls, and I find myself struggling to hold him up, that's when I see forest, stood behind him with a cooking pan in her hand and a rather large bump on Gale's head.

My body relaxes, but Forest's doesn't.  
"Are you ok, honey?" I can almost hear the concern cutting through my voice.  
"Um. I think. Are you?" She's more worried than me.  
"I'm fine. Come here." I say walking over to give her a hug. "Thank you." I mumble into her hair.  
"It's ok"  
"Right. Could you go and get Haymitch? And Garnett actually." I ask her, assuring her that I'll be alright; she does as I tell her to and hurries off to find them.

Moments later, Haymitch appears. He looks at me; he isn't surprised, I think he stopped being surprised by things like this a long time ago.  
"What happened this time, sweetheart" He asks. I explain everything and watch as his face fills with boredom. I guess he's bored of the tediousness of this life.  
"Come on, I'll help you carry him to an empty hospital unit, we can make sure he's looked after properly then." He says, lifting up Gale's droopy figure into his own arms.

I walk in front, opening doors and such until we get him into one of the broken hospital beds that we managed to uncover from the rubble a few days ago. I then rush back to the basement to find Garnett and forest.  
"Hey" I say, catching my breath. "I... um" forest looks at me and takes the words out of my mouth.  
"I think mum wanted you to check out some of this stuff and see what's wrong with it." Garnett looks at me for assurance, so I nod.  
"Why?" She asks. I hesitate before saying anything, but figured that she would find out eventually.  
"Gale attacked me" I say. "He seemed to act like he did after the first games. He… he tried to… _kiss me._" The words make me feel sick. "I didn't let him, though." I confirm. I watch as Garnett's mouth opens but no sound escapes it. It quickly closes again, before opening once more.  
"Right. Ok, so you think the stuff in here has some sort of hallucinogens in them?"  
"Yes. Tracker jacker venom to be exact. He had all of the same symptoms as Peeta gets" I tell her.  
"Hmm. Ok, if you come with me Katniss we can go and check it out in the main hospital." She turns her attention to forest.  
"Caspar keeps asking to see you, why don't you go and say hi" Forest beams at the idea before nodding and running off. I laugh slightly at her bliss, before picking up the box of medical supplies and following Garnett out of the basement.


	29. Chapter 29

******Sorry it took so long guys, but here it is. Yay new chapter! The reason it took so long is because I had an idea for a new fanfic and I had to write it before I forgot. The story is called bones and you should all go and check it out, I love it and I'm sure you all will too! Any way, heres the new chapter, hope you like it! **

**~MadcapScribbler**

**Katniss' Point of View. **

Once we have moved everything to one of the only empty official hospital units, we set up a makeshift testing unit. Garnett does the work, and questions me as she does. After an hour or two, we've discovered that the water, bandages, food and medicine have all been contaminated with a strong dose of manipulated tracker jacker venom.

"The question now, is who contaminated the supplies... And why?"  
"It was clearly deliberate." I say.  
"Yes. There's no way that this amount of venom could get in here by accident."  
"No, I meant that it was deliberately given to us."  
"Oh. Do you know where they came from?"  
"Two men delivered them. Gale told me they were from the Capitol."  
"Did you see them."  
"Briefly. Both were quite tall, wearing suits."  
"Suits?"  
"Yeah…"  
"What did they look like?"  
"Normal suits, like someone would wear to a funeral."  
"Doesn't sound like the capitol. I know that fashion up there has become more… reserved that it has been in the past, but they wouldn't wear ordinary suits. Especially not in a war zone."  
"Good point. But then of course that would mean…" I gasp in realisation.  
"This was definitely a set up."

* * *

**Forest's Point of View.**

When I get into his room, Caspar is still asleep. I go and sit next to him in the chair that's slightly broken (one of the legs is shorter than the others). I balance it and sit in silence. I check through his medical records, which still lists a number of things. He's looking better, but still not well. I hold his hand; the good one that is, not the one wrapped in bandages.  
"Marry me" he whispers, taking me by surprise.  
"Caspar?" he opens his eyes and looks directly at me, he doesn't say anything. "Caspar we talked about this. Not yet. I can't and besides, look at you, who knows when you'll be better."  
"I know" he states, closing his eyes again. "I just decided that I will ask you every day. You have to say yes eventually."  
"You're mad" I laugh  
"It took you this long to realise?" he laughs back before wincing in pain.  
"Caspar! What is it, are you ok?"  
"I'm fine" he says through gritted teeth. "It's just my ribs" He sighs when the pain seems to stop before turning his head in my direction and smiling at me. He cups my face in his hand and strokes my cheek with his thumb.  
"Are you ok?" He asks me. I nod, even though I'm not. I haven't told anyone about the headaches and the dizziness. It's probably just lack of sleep to be honest, but oh well.  
"No you're not. What's the matter?" He's now fully awake, eyes open and sat up.  
"I'm fine. I promise."  
"If you're sure…" He sighs. "Hey, come here." He moves up so he's on one side of the bed. I Lie next to him, on my side so we are facing each other, and hold his hand. We lie in silence for a while before he breaks it.  
"You're so beautiful" he whispers.  
"Caspar…"  
"Shhh. You are. And it's not because you have nice hair or perfect eyes or amazing lips. Ok so you have all of those things, but that's not what I see first. What's beautiful is your strength. Your willingness, your independence, your sense of adventure, your fearlessness, your determination; they're the things I see. And your smile. I still can't get over that smile. I love you"

I feel the blood rush to my cheeks and can only imagine how red I'm going as he speaks to me. I wish he wasn't so perfect.  
"Stop it." I sigh jokingly.  
"No."  
"What will it take for you to stop?"  
"Marry me" I giggle at his childishness.  
"hmm, let me think about that… oh yes I said no to that same question about ten minutes ago." I joke. "Seriously Caspar."  
"Ok, ok. I get it. I guess I'll have to wait until tomorrow." He laughs to himself.

Later, when he's fallen asleep, I go and get something to eat. When I return he's still sleeping, but a nurse is in the room. She's young, and I recognise her vaguely. I guess I must have seen her around the district once or twice.

"How long has he been asleep, I don't want to wake him up if he's just drifted off."  
"Oh no, he's been asleep for a while, it's ok, you can wake him up."  
"Oh ok. I will in a moment. I'll just sort this out first" she says, turning to face the sink in the corner and fiddling with some equipment.  
"So you must be Forest?" she asks.  
"Yeah, that's me" I say, taking a seat back in the broken chair.  
"Caspar never shuts up about you; you really are his whole universe." He smiles.  
"Yeah, well, he's. Uh… He's pretty special to me too." I say, ever so slightly uncomfortable with the conversation at hand.

The nurse then taps him by the shoulder and wakes him up to do what she calls 'routine checks'

"So, before I go I need to ask, how are you feeling."  
"Fine." He says.  
"The pain killers are working?"  
"Perfectly"  
"And you haven't had another seizure yet?" she asks.  
"What?" I interrupt. "Caspar, you never told me you had a seizure"  
"Oh, Forest, it's fine. In fact it was almost expected for Caspar's epilepsy to become more aggressive, especially after"  
"Epilepsy?" I interrupt. "Why didn't you tell me?"  
"Forest, I. I didn't want you to look at me differently, I'm sorry, I"  
"I don't. Just. Is there anything else you've hidden from me?"  
"Forest…" he reaches for my hand.  
"No. You know what. I need to get home. Bye" I say bluntly before leaving the room and trying not to cry.


End file.
